Breaking Trust

1:00 AM: My heart is pounding through my chest and anger rages through my veins like a forest fire. I’m not angry – I’m furious. I feel like the carpet has been pulled out from under my feet by some prankster. Right now, I’m sobbing like a 2-year old who desperately longs for a comforting hug and a popsicle to soothe the pain. In reality, I am an adult and I won’t be eating any popsicles tonight to help me self-soothe the pain away. The pain I feel is emotional and I’m not the type to eat my feelings anyways.

I apologize for wasting your time with another depressing post. If you would prefer to read something more uplifting and positive, feel free to click away. Because this is the internet and everyone can read my blog posts, I cannot openly express who hurt me or share the juicy details with you. That being said, this post isn’t directed towards you or anyone else in the blogging community. I am writing this blog post because it’s incredibly painful for me to fathom what happened last night and I just want to be understood.

As some of you already know, 2019 has been a bad year for me. I try my best to stay positive but it’s difficult when I’m dealing with $hit that is VERY triggering to my mental health and well-being. Tomorrow, I have my first cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) session on campus so I plan to discuss my anxiety and trust issues with the therapist. I have been on a 3-month waiting list so I am grateful that I am finally getting some professional help.

What the hell is happening to the world?

Everyone handles anger differently. My anger accumulates in the pit of my stomach which makes it difficult for me to eat after experiencing hurt or betrayal. My negative emotions feel like a tangled ball of anger, envy, jealousy, and frustration towards everything that’s wrong in my life right now. It is like I am drowning in my own sea of negative emotions and I have lost the ability to breathe.

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This elegant image of Miku Hatsune illustrates depression in an artistic way. Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

As Sheldon states from The Big Bang Theory, “Everything is changing and it’s simply too much!” After being mislead and lied to by my loved ones this week, I don’t know who I can trust anymore. I have been lied to by friends in the past which seriously sucks, but loved ones… really? Am I destined to be lied to by everyone I encounter in my life? What other secrets have they been keeping from me?

10:00 AM: In my book, lying is NOT okay. From the moment I met you, I made it very clear that lying is unacceptable and that I won’t tolerate it. However, you made the choice to keep me in the dark by making me oblivious and ignorant to the world around me. Like they say, ignorance is bliss…. but is it really bliss? Even though you felt like it was best to protect me during my most vulnerable moments, you still lied to my face and broke the foundation that we worked so hard to build. You probably felt like I was too emotionally unstable to handle the truth, but you also kept me in the dark. Right now, I’m having a hard time trusting anyone including you.

Trust-Quotations-052

Trust is a fragile thing – difficult to build and easy to break.

How does it feel when you realize that you’ve been lied to? Do you believe that it is ever OK to lie to someone? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ I really enjoy reading your comments! ❤️

Thanks for stopping by!

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66 thoughts on “Breaking Trust

  1. genevacerrato says:

    I am sorry you are hurt and suffering.
    You are right trust takes so long to build, but can be broken down in a moment. I do not think it is okay to lie ever. Honesty is the best policy and the foundation of any relationship.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      I took a week to clear my head and sort out my feelings. My therapist suggested that I face these people rather than run away from them, so I am trying to me more approachable. Lying definitely shakes a foundation in any relationship, that’s for sure. I appreciate all of your support and I hope that you had a good birthday! 😄

      Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Honestly, I don’t know anyone who does except maybe the ones who can justify that lying is OK. That being said, I don’t even think liars would enjoy being treated this way. I too am hoping that 2019 gets better with time. Thank you so much for your input, Renard! 😊💕

      Liked by 1 person

  2. V says:

    I’m a firm believer in open and honest conversation, no matter how hurtful the truth might be. That being said, I get lied to a lot… which is kind of sad. I can definitely understand how you feel being lied to.

    I texted you. Feel free to respond, or ignore. It’s totally up to you! I just thought you might like someone to talk to.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pauliina says:

    So sorry that you are having a difficult year, but I shall pass! I have been dealing a lot with liers and people who want to run your life. My solution was to kick all of them out from my life and just find new better people. Where live people just tend to come and go, so you really can’t count that they are here for ever, and man it hurt like hell in the beginning but it doesn’t anymore. Maybe that’s why it was so easy to just clean the shitty people out of my life.

    Remember, it’s not you, it’s them you are doing wrong.

    My mental health has improved a lot from then.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Paulina! I really appreciate that you took the time to leave a thoughtful comment. I haven’t had a chance to finish my replies (I am very far behind at the moment). Luckily, I have managed to remove toxic friends from my life but I still question whether I made the right decision. The ones who lied to me were family members and it felt like I was punched in the stomach, not once but twice by people who I [once] trusted.

      I am happy that you are feeling better now that the toxic people are out of your life. It’s very freeing once you find your tribe/niche, that is, people who treat you with kindness and respect. All we can do is treat others how we would want to be treated and hope that they will do the same.🙏💕

      Like

  4. Liz says:

    I agree with everyone’s supportive comments here as I leave mine, which is the same as everyone else’s.
    I don’t liked being lied to and it certainly breaks down trust. It’s hurtful when friends do it, but loved ones, it can be worse and it leaves that kind of question that if they can do it, anyone will, making trust harder and the question of do I have something written on my forehead.
    It’s certainly them and not you with the issue as someone has said and sometimes best to get rid depending on situation and how many times they can’t be honest.
    Hugs to you.

    Liked by 2 people

    • openmindedscientist says:

      I feel you in this post. My family often won’t even talk to me as they worry how I will react so there is no honesty and it makes me feel very alone. Wishing you love and light, and I know you’ll feel better by the time 2019 is out! Xxxx

      Liked by 2 people

      • Liz says:

        Thank you.

        Yes, it can make you feel very alone, if you can’t feel you can talk freely. I find it can be frustrating too sometimes.
        Sorry to hear you are in a position where you feel you can’t talk freely, with how the family are. Xx

        Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      @Liz and @Openmindedscientist Thank you both for sharing your thoughts on this blog 😇 I haven’t been blogging much this summer and now I am finally getting around to replying. Forgive me for taking my sweet time. Both of your comments mean a lot to me and yes, being lied to is not a fun feeling at all. For now, I still have trust issues and am still processing the negative emotions. Coming to terms with what happened this year and accepting these disappointments has definitely been the biggest struggle for me. However, I am doing what I can to stay positive while trying to maintain a positive mental state in this chaotic world. Sending both of you positive vibes! 🙏💕

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hilary Tan says:

        Thank you so much, Liz! 😊 I recently added HIIT to my daily routine/schedule since early August. I am really enjoying Pilates and yoga combined with HIIT. The cognitive-behavioral therapist suggested that I create a schedule that I can stick to in order to find a sense of calmness and balance again. 🧘‍♀️💕

        Liked by 1 person

      • Liz says:

        I like Pilates, but can’t afford to go to classes now. I do a bit at home, but really ought to do more. My walking is my go road you know. So I am doing something. But I ought to get back to my Tai chi DVD’s.
        HIIT I can imagine is good too. It’s good you find what works for you. 😊

        Like

  5. Ellen says:

    Hey Hilary! I’m sorry to see that you’re in so much pain right now. 😔
    I can totally understand what you’re going through. I’ve been through the same before and it has made me question all the choices I’ve ever made in life. Lying can ruin everything, and can really shatter one’s faith in humanity.
    I hope you get fine soon. A virtual hug! 🤗

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Ellen, I’m sorry that my reply is late. I needed to take a few days off to think about what happened and figure out where to go from here. I am overwhelmed with all of the support that I have received and am so grateful. Thank you so much for sending me a virtual hug. I’m sending one back! 🤗

      Liked by 1 person

  6. WendyMegget says:

    Hey Hilary. I’m sorry you are having such a sucky time. You must be feeling very betrayed by your friends, and I can understand why you are so upset. Stay strong in your insistence of the truth from those closest to you 💖💖💖

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      I’m beginning to accept that the only person I can really trust is myself. You would think that we can trust our loved ones, but everyone lies at some point. Being cognitively aware of our behaviors is the only way to stop ourselves from falling into this trap as well. Thank you so much for giving me some words of encouragement, Wendy. 🙏🏻🌺

      Liked by 2 people

      • WendyMegget says:

        Don’t give up on trusting others – some deserve it. But get them to earn it first, don’t just give it to them. You are doing REALLY well! Life can be a tangled web, but it gets easier as you get older – you slowly learn to stop giving a flying f**k what other people think, and you become your true self 💖

        Liked by 4 people

  7. Mr. Ramdolfi says:

    Hi Hilary, I’m deeply sorry to read that you’ve been hurt. I understand how devastating being lied to can be, specially coming from those closest to us. It is like having a bucket of ice cold water suddenly poured down our souls. It took me years in New York to develop a tough skin, one immune to lies. Then, for a while I thought of it as a strength, and to an extent it definitely is. But I have learned from my wife that it takes more strength to trust others. I am now slowly relearning to be someone who sees the best in people and trusts them. That said, lying is unacceptable. I will always choose a sour truth over a sweet lie, in a heartbeat! Stay strong, Hilary.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Firstly, I apologize for skipping over your comment and then failing to like it. I am still figuring out the best way to reply to comments and so far, the laptop is proving to be a more reliable method. Secondly, I apologize for replying so late (as with some of the other bloggers’ comments) and I am not trying to be rude on purpose. I have been using the WP app up until this point. Maybe the smart phone isn’t so smart after all! 😅

      Your analogy/metaphor (which one is it??) about life is SO DEEP that I sometimes feel like I’m rolling in it (this is my sad attempt to make a pun about Adele here…) I can feel chills running down my spine just thinking about that ice bucket. 😂Thank you so much for sharing your perspective about trusting people. Often, it’s difficult for me to see the best in people especially when lying becomes their second language.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Mr. Ramdolfi says:

        No worries at all! I too am trying to figure out the best way to reply to comments. What’s more, for some reason a number of them end up in my spam folder when they are normal comments. So I too apologize if I have missed any. 😄 Thank you for your kind words (and fun pun!), I hope things are better now. 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

  8. Jenny in Neverland says:

    You definitely shouldn’t apologise for a “depressing” post. If someone doesn’t want to read, they don’t have to! But if writing helps you express your feelings then that’s amazing. I’m sorry to hear you’re suffering at the moment x

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      In the past, some people have told me that I should be more upbeat because apparently, I’m “too depressing” at times. Those people probably don’t read my blog. I figured it would be best to add a disclaimer to warn people before reading this post in case they were hoping for a more “positive-upbeat-happy Hilary.” You’re right – apologizing probably wasn’t necessary. I’m Canadian and Canadians apologize A LOT 🇨🇦😅

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Huguette says:

    Firstly, we share our feelings as is and you don’t need to apologize at all!
    I wish you luck in your therapy and hope it will always gets better and your mental health will improve
    Regarding being lied to, for me as the quote mentioned, it takes forever to repair and I don’t know what can be done so I can look at the liar the same way as before, but to be fair, I listen and I ask why and I hear the reasons (for an example lying to someone that you’re in pain to not increase their pain is not lying in my point of view) and I learned to lower my expectations and not expect people to be like me, but also to not keep liars in my life if they are sick and can’t stop lying, and if there’s a good reason for them to lie, I must study it very well and decide
    I hope you will manage to solve this issue and have peace in your life!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Lately, I’ve been more depressed than happy and my next therapy session is mid-August. Thank you for your well wishes – I’m also hoping that things turn around for the better. 🙇‍♀️

      I tend to cut people out of my life after they’ve deeply hurt me. What bothers me most is that they’re in denial that they even hurt me or lied to me and they don’t acknowledge that they did anything wrong in the first place. That’s why I stop talking to them. All I really want is an apology and I shouldn’t have to pull teeth to get an apology out of someone.

      I’m learning that people are gonna hurt us, and almost everyone will at some point. I completely agree with you about lowering expectations so that we can better handle these situations. I’m an extremely sensitive person so I get upset easily. 😔🌺

      Liked by 1 person

      • Huguette says:

        Somedays we can’t help it so try to always focus on positive things until your therapy session
        I also require an apology and a changed behavior as well otherwise sorry means nothing and not admitting is end of story for me, they’re out for good!
        Being sensitive is not a crime or guilt, but beside the therapy you need to help yourself by knowing and being convinced that whatever people do is about them not you at all ! I used t spend most of my time crying, I shut myself down and now I’m a totally different person and I never saw a therapist or took any pills or drugs, just worked on myself and improved
        Wish you all the best but always remember people will face their Karma you just need to take care of yourself and thoughts
        Have a great evening / day 😊💕

        Liked by 2 people

      • Hilary Tan says:

        I’m on a low dose of antidepressants (5mg) and refuse to take the full dose (10mg). It’s an expensive brand but it’s supposed to help with both depression and anxiety. 2019 has been the worst year by far and it was just too much for me to handle. I was feeling suicidal and was diagnosed with major depression, so I asked for help. I’ve only had one CBT session with a therapist so in the meantime, I’m using the “just do it” approach to stop the constant thought-cycle. I used to think that having an active mind was a good thing but now I’m starting to see the benefits of calming the mind and just being still in my thoughts. The meds make me feel a bit numb and I’m still depressed but that’s mostly due to situational circumstances I can’t control. Hoping to get off the meds by August 2020 when things are more stable (hopefully!)

        One person apologized and says he’s genuinely sorry (I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt) but the other has not and she’s in complete denial she said anything to upset me. I haven’t answered her phone calls in over a week and don’t plan to. She’s cold towards me and cannot relate to how I feel. I highly doubt she will ever change which is a hard thing for me to accept, so I spend as much time away from her as possible. Thank you for caring so much about me and offering me words of encouragement, Huguette! 😇✨

        Liked by 2 people

      • Huguette says:

        Sorry it was midnight and had to sleep
        I know nothing about medication, I hope it will help you and make a difference
        It’s good you sought help, hope you can find a bit of improvement despite the bad circumstances you’re facing
        I have an active mind and tried to take my life once but now I think in a different way and I just let go no matter what it’s not about me, it helped me a lot
        Hope it will get better in your life and the therapy will be effective as well
        You don’t have to keep people in your life if they hurt you and they are so mean even if they were your blood! This is how I think and act and I cut many relatives from my like so easily and without blinking and you should do the same and protect yourself unless she means so much to you then it’s your call and I wish you the best of luck!
        Least we can do is offering kind words when we can, they cost nothing so I hope they can change a bit and help a bit 😊💕

        Liked by 1 person

  10. ilona madam says:

    Good afternoon Hilary, we are all fighting demons from inside, which attacks us in z very private way, you are strong women, you are talking about, i have anger problem, i’m learning to control it, overthinking doe the job as well, it may make you feel lost, did to me, never ignore the way you feel.💚 Yes, i got lies, cheating, and it is not okay, i never lie since, because i had to experience it myself, it was painful, i’m still on my healing process. The person who meant the world to me lied in to myself, was cheating on me for a long while, so is not easy to deal with, specially when we are good people and for as it something not acceptable, because we dont lie and we dont do bullshit. The best what you can do is to forgive, let go, escort them out of your life, focus on your own family, because this is what really matters❤️I hope that therapy will help and you will feel better soon💜

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Dearest Ilona Madam, sadly I am too late replying to your comment as you probably won’t get to read it. I really appreciate that you took the time to leave such a thoughtful comment and hopefully, you still continue visiting this blog. I can only hope that you return to blogging one day. We all miss you very much! ❤ So far therapy seems to be helping and I am taking things day by day. I think about you a lot and hope that you are doing okay, and that your modelling career is successful. I know that you are already a star and you will shine! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  11. ChangedLife365 says:

    I honestly don’t think lying is ok. And this is coming from someone who has both lied and been lied to. I hope you can figure this all out. And eventually, forgive these people. Honestly, forgiveness is the hardest but the most effective way of moving on from this. It will feel like you are betraying yourself.

    But you will be healing.

    Because holding on to anger and the feeling of being rightfully angry is like hitting yourself with a whip when you are trying to make someone else understand the pain. Hope I make it clear and don’t make you feel like you are the blame because ofc you aren’t ❤

    A lot of love and positive energy from me! Remember that you still have 6 months of this year to turn this year around! Don't let the past days dictate your future days! If you want to check my post on it; maybe it can help.(https://changedlife365.net/2019/07/08/4-things-to-do-to-make-your-next-6-months-a-success/)

    But do whatever you need to do to feel the goddess within 😉 I can't wait to read about how life has been smiling at you! Hearts and hugs to you ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Wow, it took me an entire month to reply to your comment. 😔 I’m SO slow at replying and need to work on that! At least you have experienced both sides of the spectrum to see how lying leads to negative consequences. 🙇‍♀️

      Forgiveness is hard and I hold onto grudges. I still have grudges from my childhood! I try not to think about the past and have a tendency to avoid painful memories. However, memories will resurface out of nowhere for no apparent reason. These memories are sporadic most of the time. It’s probably because I didn’t fully process these negative events or found closure. Forgiveness is more for ourselves than it is for the other person. This is a good way to find closure, especially when the other person didn’t give us the closure that we were hoping for. Forgiving is a way to allow ourselves to let go out these negative emotions that are tying us down and preventing us from fully living life. 🧘‍♀️🌱

      I’m not sure if I already read your post or not, but I will definitely check out your link. I really appreciate your suggestions, and I love how you are also working on personal development. Also, thank you so much for sharing your words of wisdom. Hearts and hugs back to you ❤️

      Like

  12. bournemouthgirl says:

    Sorry to hear you are hurt and angry. Everyone goes through things and it’s good to reflect on social media that life isn’t all rosy all the time.
    I have had CBT and it was so helpful, my therapist was so good. Just go in and be completely honest so they can help you the right way. I hope your first session went well and I hope it helps you xx

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Julxrp says:

    I have a few personal rules… Based upon my own experiences…
    “Trust is earned; never given.”
    “Trust everyone, don’t trust the devil inside them.”
    “Never trust family.”

    People are fallible.. Doesn’t matter who they are, They will let you down; whether they mean to or not.
    It’s never OK to lie to someone; especially someone you love. I get it.. Sometimes our loved ones feel that they need to protect us from the truth. But that breaks trust and when the truth does finally appear, its even uglier.

    2019 hasn’t been a great year for me. So I can say that it is good that you are getting some help professionally.. Apart from that, if you ever need a friend to talk to, I’m here.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Robin says:

    Lying sucks! It does break trust. I’m new to your blog, and I’m sorry to hear you have had a difficult year. I’ve found therapy very helpful. I hope it helps you. I love popsicles – any time!! Be well. Hugs.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. wifeblah says:

    It is never okay to be lied to, but it happens. Trust me, I know how it feels. I almost ended up my life because of lie. It’s hard, but it is possible to forgive and let go. Time heals.

    Like

  16. popsiclesociety says:

    Well dear Hilary, everyone can write what they want on their blog, no need to apologize.
    I’m really sorry, being lied is not an easy thing to deal with and move on. You need years to build the trust and can disappear in just a second with a stupid lie.
    I guess they should at least try to explain why the lie was needed? Maybe because who lied to you thought that is not important or necessary for you to know, maybe they wanted to protect you!
    Sometimes our loved ones they think maybe we are too nervous or too anxious to bother us with other stupid things and then they just don’t tell us…
    I wish you all the best with the therapy and I hope you”ll find some peace and tranquility soon :)😊💕

    Liked by 1 person

  17. 𝕬𝖓𝖌𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖈𝖆 𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊 says:

    Good morning, I am sorry that you went through this negative situation. I hope you are feeling much better by the time you are reading this comment. Stay hopeful by knowing that good days are on the way. I would like to thank you for liking my latest blog post “The Silvery Invitation Pearl ✉️🗑”. It meant so much to me. Have a lovely day 🌸

    Liked by 2 people

  18. AfterHollywood.Online says:

    Hi Hilary!

    I wanted to wish you a very happy birthday. Please know that like yourself, I have had bad years too, and sometimes I didn’t know how I was going to get through it.

    While this may not “fix” your situation, I hope to help you gain a little perspective at the moment okay?

    First, in 2019, ~ the world is going through a tremendous change, and it is affecting all of us. America is especially shifting quickly, and if you are not grounded, you could get very confused, so do what you can to breath and stay in your body. Be kind to yourself today okay?

    Second, people don’t see the world the way the world is, they see the world the way they are so sometimes it is tough for others to understand what you are going through as they have not walked in your shows.

    Third, Hilary, it is the bad times that help us to appreciate the good times. Guess what? I am so proud of you because you are 1/2 way to feeling a lot better. Want to know why? It has been my experience that when a person acknowledges that their life sucks and they feel like crap, it will allow you to shift at some point and very soon.

    One of the things that have always helped me during my 62 years on this earth is life sort of goes in cycles.

    You have a lot going for you Hilary in that you are a woman. Why do I say that? Answer: You can multi-task. I am a man and I can’t multi-task.

    Next, it was V who requested that I wish you a happy birthday.

    She has her own blog #MILLENNIALLIFECRISIS & it meant a lot to me that while V has challenges too, she considers You a friend and wants all of us to reach out.

    That fact that V described you as an “insightful soul,” is the ultimate compliment. Being insightful is an excellent gift because it means that you have been blessed with something called “discernment.” Not everyone in this life Hilary gets that.

    There is one small thing that you can do today. Make a list of the people in your life that don’t support you and either never call them again or don’t tell them anything you are doing and working on.

    Why do I say this?

    A lot of times because you are a kind person and deep inside are really a happy person, it is just that circumstances have you feeling down and sad on your birthday.

    Here are some things I found that may be of help or at least get you thinking.

    https://www.mindbodygreen.com/0-18675/7-mental-shifts-to-get-yourself-out-of-a-rut.html

    http://choosetoseegood.com/choose-to-see-good-when-its-hiding-from-you/

    http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/05/09/9-ways-to-find-peace-in-tough-times/

    Thank you, Hilary, for taking time out of your day to read all of this. My personal email is:
    mitch@afterhollywood.online

    If you feel stuck, my direct telephone number is 949 532-9325.

    Doesn’t it amaze you how many people are online all the time and yet no one talks to each other anymore?

    Life isn’t about waiting for the storm to pass,
    it’s about learning to dance in the rain.
    ―Vivian Greene

    God bless you and make your birthday a phenomenal day!

    Onward and Upward,
    Always in Gratitude,

    Mitch Santell

    PS I have a business partner who went through terrible PTSD from 10 years in the military and started a Reggae Radio Station in San Diego 4 1/2 years ago. Go here, and you can stream the station (it’s commercial-free): https://www.bigreggaemix.com/

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Ronnie says:

    If someone is comfortable enough to lie to me once, I feel they are capable of lying to me a million times. I have no tolerance for liars and no room in my life for them.

    I never felt any benefit from anti-depressants in the past, but CBT helped me tremendously. I hope it works as good for you as it did for me. It was a turning point in my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Ronnie! 😊 I appreciate that you took the time to check out this post and leave a lovely comment. I completely agree with you. I like the saying, “Once a liar always a liar.” It’s just so easy for people slip back into these bad habits if they aren’t consciously aware of this behaviour.

      Your experiences with antidepressants is interesting because I felt the SAME way taking antidepressants. It didn’t really help me overcome my depression but what it did was dampen my extreme moodiness and anxiety. I quit taking my antidepressant Aug 3, 2019 and haven’t taken it since. Instead, I’ve managed to stabilize my mood with daily exercise! 🧘‍♀️💪 So far, I too am finding cognitive-behavioral therapy to be incredibly helpful. Thank you for sharing your insights with me. Have a wonderful day! 🙏💕

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Jyoti says:

    Hi Hilary dear ❤️❤️ first of all you should not sorry to write this!!
    I know being lied is very heart breaking and it’s not easy to move ahead….years of trust can break within a minute with just a lie!!
    All the best for your therapy and I hope that you will improve soon dear ❤️
    Sometimes the worst place you can be is in your head!! So don’t worry dear ❤️ you will be fine…..this isy sincere regards to you…
    Yeah I too have faced lies and cheating, you may think that how a 16 yrs old girl can face lies and cheating but I have and from that person whom I trusted the most!!
    And in the end I learned how to be strong alone!!
    It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad and over thinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow and be positive.. I know you are a strong lady!!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Hi Jyoti dear ❤❤ Hopefully you received my previous replies from yesterday. I was out of town for two days and din’t get a chance to reply to your comment. Thank you for being patient with me as it takes me a very long time replying to comments.

      Yes, I completely agree with you! All it takes is one lie to shatter years of trust. And sadly, it takes a lifetime to build that trust again. *Sigh* It’s not so simple for me to walk away so instead, I am trying to modify my environment the best I can. I’ve been trying to eliminate as many emotional triggers as possible to allow for more positivity in my daily life. I am finding therapy to be very helpful so far.

      “It’s time to just be happy. Being angry, sad and over thinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow and be positive..” ❤ I LOVE THIS! ❤ Your words are so wise, Jyoti. You may be young but you are full of wisdom and great advice. Thank you for reading and sharing your insights with me. You would make a fantastic therapist one day if you choose that career path. Have a great day! 🌸🌸🌸

      Like

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Good afternoon, Jyoti!😄 I am finally replying to comments now that I have a moment to focus on the blog (and I am using an actual laptop this time!) I often like the comments but then forget to reply to them since I use the app more than the actual browser. It’s a lot easier to see things on a laptop! I hope you are having a wonderful day/evening! ❤

      “You are free to choose but you are not free from the consequence of your choice.” -A Universal Paradox

      Like

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Yes….SAME! I noticed that almost everyone will disappoint us at some point, but if we can’t trust them on top of all things, then who are we supposed to trust besides ourselves?

      Like

  21. PoojaG says:

    I think there are some lies I can forgive because sometimes people lie to you for your own good but there are some lies that I just feel so betrayed about that I can not forgive. I have pretty bad anxiety and being lied to or rather finding out I’ve been lied to has a really bad effect on it so I understand how you feel to an extent. I’m sorry you had to go through something negative but to be honest there are a lot of people in life who will lie to you I guess we need to learn to accept that, Hope you feel better!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. susanneharring says:

    I absolutely hate being lied to… who doesn’t? And finding out someone ‘didn’t tell you something to “protect” you’ … hiding stuff, hurts just as bad. It’s so hard to be willing to be open to others these days…

    Liked by 2 people

    • Hilary Tan says:

      Lying is totally NOT okay, especially when it’s family and spouses who are lying. Ultimately, hiding stuff from me worse than ripping off the bandage. Thank you for visiting my blog! 😊💕

      Like

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