One Day, Death

I wrote a parody of the song, “thank u, next” by Ariana Grande, which is the last installment of the Ariana parody series. I saved this parody for last because the topics I wrote about relate to terminal cancer and death, as the title suggests. I think that this parody is the saddest one of the bunch, so it’s OK to skip over this blog post if these topics bother you. In the meantime, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here.

Even though I haven’t been blogging on a regular basis, you can still find me leaving comments and interacting with this wonderful WP community. Life is up in the air right now since I am forced to self-isolate until further notice. All we can do is take it one day at a time and try to make the best of this #quarantine-life. Thanks for reading! ❤

[Verse 1]
I met a fellow from England
And he was a nice lad
But he carries a secret
Terminal cancer, it’s sad
Even though he has cancer
This may not make him unique
But what makes him so different
Is that he’s willing to speak

[Pre-Chorus]
I learned he’s dying
And he’s not afraid
To go to heaven
So he filled out the MAID
He lost his brother
To cancer last summer
He grieves for his loss
Says life has no meaning
And for that, he says

[Chorus]
On day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
I am ready to take my last breath
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
I am ready…

[Verse 2]
As he lays in his bed
Thinking about his mistakes
He reflects on his life
It’s a little too late
He knows he had neglected his health
And health is wealth
So practice what we preach
We should all know that well

[Pre-Chorus]
He taught me strength (strength)
He taught me weakness (weakness)
How he handles pain (pain)
And learned to surrender
Can’t learn this in college
At least that’s what I think
I have a whole new perspective
Now that death has got meaning
And for that, he says

[Chorus]
On day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
I am ready to take my last breath
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
One day, death (death)
I am ready…

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No Breaths Left to Take

I wrote a parody of the song, “No Tears Left to Cry” by Ariana Grande. Sorry for picking on you Ariana, but I also plan on uploading a future parody of “Thank U, Next.” If you enjoyed reading this parody, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here.

Even though I haven’t been blogging on a regular basis, you can still find me leaving comments and interacting with this wonderful WP community. Life is up in the air right now since I am forced to self-isolate for the rest of the winter semester. All we can do is take it one day at a time and try to make the best of this coronavirus craziness. Thanks for reading! ❤

[Intro]
Right now, my patient is SOB
He lives with end stage COPD
Ain’t got no breaths left to take
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up
He’s coughing it up, coughing it up
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up (Oh yeah)

[Refrain]
He’s coughing it up (yeah), coughing it up (Yeah)
Hacking, he’s trying to cough it all up
Yeah, he’s coughing it up

[Verse 1]
Ain’t got oxygen in my lungs
I ran out, but boy, it’s hard, it’s hard, to breathe
Don’t matter how, what, where, who’s tried it
I quit my smokin’, my smokin’, my smokin’

[Pre-Chorus]
I need help, my lungs are shutting down
Can’t breathe now, can’t breathe or catch my breath
Catch my breath, and then my lungs are clear
Then now you know it, dear
Know it, dear, yeah

[Chorus]
Right now, my patient is SOB
He lives with end stage COPD
Ain’t got no breaths left to take
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up (Oh yeah)
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up
Oh, I’ve got meds for him to take
And it will help him for goodness sake
Ain’t got no breaths left to take (To take)
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up (Oh yeah)
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up

[Refrain]
Coughing it up (yeah), Coughing it up (Yeah)
Hacking, he’s trying to cough it all up (He coughin’ it up)
Yeah, he coughin’ it up

[Verse 2]
Whenever I lose my breath, I start to wheeze
And boy, it’s hard, it’s hard, to breathe
Cigs did this to me, emphysema you see
I quit my smokin’, my smokin’, my smokin’

[Pre-Chorus]
I need help, my lungs are shutting down
Can’t breathe now, can’t breathe or catch my breath
Catch my breath, and then my lungs are clear
Then now you know it, dear
Know it, dear, yeah

[Chorus]
Right now, my patient is SOB
He lives with end stage COPD
Ain’t got no breaths left to take
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up (Oh yeah)
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up
Oh, I’ve got meds for him to take
And it will help him for goodness sake
Ain’t got no breaths left to take (To take)
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up (Oh yeah)
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up

[Pre-Chorus]
I need help, my lungs are shutting down
Can’t breathe now (Hmm, oh)
Catch my breath
Ain’t got no breaths left to take
Oh yeah, oh yeah

[Chorus]
Oh, I’ve got meds for him to take
And it will help him for goodness sake
Ain’t got no breaths left to take (Take)
So he’s coughing it up, coughing it up (Oh yeah)
He’s wheezin’, he’s wheezin’, he’s coughing it up

[Refrain]
Coughing it up (yeah), Coughing it up (Yeah)
Hacking, he’s trying to cough it all up
Yeah, he’s coughin’ it up

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Forgetful Woman

I wrote a parody of the song, “Dangerous Woman” by Ariana Grande. If you like this parody, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here. Thanks for reading! ❤

[Verse 1]
Oh yeah
Her daughter called her
But there was no answer from her mother
‘Cause it’s her business, she grew suspicious
And sent mom to the ER
Don’t need to hang up
Taking control of this situation
Mom can’t remember
Completely focused, her mind is scattered

[Pre-Chorus]
All that she got
Is her name, so she claims?
Not time or place

[Chorus]
Somethin’ ’bout her makes her feel like a forgetful woman
Somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout her
Made her wanna say things but she couldn’t
Somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout

[Verse 2]
Nothing to say, she can’t remember and
Feels under the weather
Every day I see her
It’s like she’s meeting
Me for the first time
She lives in the moment, lives for today
Her love remains strong, can’t take that away
Life should be savored, it’s only nature
Odds not in her favor

[Pre-Chorus]
All that she got
Is her name, so she claims?
Not time or place

[Chorus]
Somethin’ ’bout her makes her feel like a forgetful woman
Somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout her
Made her wanna say things but she couldn’t
Somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout, somethin’ ’bout her

[Refrain]
She don’t wanna be like that
Memories that fade like that
Dunno how she’s feeling inside
Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout
She don’t wanna be like that
Memories that fade like that
Dunno how she’s feeling inside
Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout

[Instrumental Bridge]

[Chorus]
Somethin’ bout her makes her feel like a forgetful woman
Somethin’ bout, somethin’ bout, somethin’ bout her
Made her wanna say things but she couldn’t
Somethin’ bout, somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout her

[Refrain]
She don’t wanna be like that
Memories that fade like that
Dunno how she’s feeling inside
Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout
She don’t wanna be like that
Memories that fade like that
Dunno how she’s feeling inside
Somethin’ ‘bout, somethin’ ‘bout

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‘Tis the Season to Be Sick

Every year around the holidays, I seem to be one of the “lucky” individuals who gets sick. Last year, I caught bronchitis which started off as a head cold. Due to my crappy immune system, this nasty bronchitis refused to leave my poor lungs for several weeks which ultimately lead to an inflamed trachea. On top of that, I spent last Christmas in the ER. Thanks Santa! How thoughtful of you!

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Despite receiving the flu shot on Saturday, December 7, 2019, I wasn’t prepared for what was to come. From what I discovered over the years, the flu shot seems to work against me for some reason. However, the faculty insists that students receive their flu shots each year so that they can attend clinical practice. And this is kinda a big deal. If you don’t attend clinical practice, you automatically forfeit the entire semester. And anyone who has been following me knows why I cannot allow for this to happen.

On Sunday evening, I spent my waking hours in the bathroom puking my guts out. At one point, I didn’t make it to the bathroom on time and my poor husband volunteered to clean up the mess. I was in so much physical pain that I thought I was dying, similar to the memories from Christmas 2018. I didn’t see a magical light leading to heaven or anything, but if projectile vomiting is similar to what dying feels like, then yes, it was a near death experience for me.

Last night as I was lying in bed, I thought to myself, “This is it. I’m going to die. Pneumonia finally got me.”☠️ Memories from Christmas 2018 

It wasn’t just me who was sick this past weekend. My husband was the first one to get sick, so I spent the weekend nursing him back to health. Hey, I want to take some of the credit for making him feel better. It’s possible that I may have caught this stomach bug from him. However, he didn’t experience any vomiting whatsoever, so could it really be the same sickness? Yesterday evening, my toddler had a fever, but she displayed no signs or symptoms of being sick. Instead, she was full of energy and bouncing off the walls like any healthy kid. This morning, she asked us to take her to the playground so she could play on the slides. Not today, Rebecca. You still have a fever. You’re supposed to be sick. Silly girl. 

The Mystery Continues

Perhaps I had food poisoning, which is a possibility. Some of the food I ate last weekend was questionable, such as a bag of stale BBQ potato chips. Dollarama, get it together! 😑 Add 3 chocolate bars to my day’s worth of calories, and that binge could have been enough to cause a puking fest. We usually don’t eat junk food at home, but I thought it would be nice to surprise my husband with some of his favourite treats. He refused to eat any of it, so I ended up stuffing my face with chips, candy, and chocolate. Now, I am swearing off junk food for good, which could just be a temporary food aversion. Yesterday, I had a long conversation with Steve in the comments section over at Steve’s Country. He is super friendly and I highly recommend checking out his blog! 😀😺

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Always find something to laugh about every day. And if you can’t find anything, you can always laugh at yourself!

I am grateful that I am able to breathe through both nostrils. Thankfully, I didn’t end up with clogged sinuses or a stuffy nose. Try to stay healthy my friends, especially since there are sickly people everywhere this time of year.

Thanks for stopping by!

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I Attended An Anxiety Workshop | Part 3

This blog post is the final installment of the I Attended An Anxiety Workshop series. Please check out Part 1 and Part 2 if you haven’t previously done so, which give detailed descriptions leading up to this point. Thank you! ❤

During the month of November, I attended an anxiety workshop on campus called “Confront the Discomfort.I previously shared some techniques that were addressed in Session 1 and Session 2, and I was overwhelmed by the amount of positive comments and feedback I received from all of you. You guys are the reason why I continue to pour my heart and soul into blogging. Blogging is more than just a hobby for me. Blogging is an essential part of my recovery. 

be-still-be-present-be-mindful-quoteDuring Session 3 on November 19, 2019, we talked about positive coping statements for dealing with anxiety. I want to give you some examples of coping statements that I use in my daily life. Next time you are feeling anxious, I challenge you to try applying some positive coping statements similar to the ones I am going to share with you today.

Did you know that these coping statements can be used to manage stress, as well as phobias? Oh boy, so my fear of balloons can be overcome by repeatedly using positive affirmations? Even I am a bit skeptical about this one. Skepticism aside, let’s explore some coping statements, shall we?

♥ Let’s talk about coping statements ♥

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Before we dig deeper into some examples of positive coping statements, what the heck are coping statements to begin with?! ♥

The best definition I found is directly sourced from www.choosehelp.com, which defines coping statements as “truthful positive statements used to replace the negative and untrue thoughts that take over when you feel anxious, stressed, angry and/or when facing overwhelming situations [such as phobias].”

I really love lists. I love lists so much that I had originally intended to write listicles for this week’s blog post. As I started writing these lists, it dawned on me that the material this week is quite dry and does not really spark excitement. If my own writing is gonna bore me to death, then chances are you’ll probably be bored out of your minds too. And nobody would want that. Not me. Not you. Not anyone. 🙇‍♀️

A Simpler Way to Remember Things: Draw a Picture

Disclaimer: Since I do not have the resources to draw and upload my own images for you, I am using images directly sourced online. All images shown below belong to the rightful owner, Rebekah, from @journey_to_wellness_. The images that I am displaying here are strictly for educational purposes ONLY.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

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Rebekah from @journey_to_wellness_ does an excellent job at illustrating effective coping statements for dealing with anxiety.

♥ My New & Improved Listicles ♥

I’ve decided to take it upon myself to improve my otherwise boring lists by making them more visually appealing. This is literally the extent of my artistic abilities, and I know that these lists are not nearly as exciting as the previous illustrations. However, I hope that this information helps you find relief whenever you are feeling stressed out or overwhelmed.

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Coping Statements for Stress.pngWell, I hope you enjoyed reading the I Attended An Anxiety Workshop series as much as I enjoyed writing it! Any feedback would be greatly appreciated since I am trying to improve my blogging and writing skills. Have you used similar positive coping statements in the past when you had to deal with a stressful situation? Please leave a comment by joining the conversation below↓

Thanks for stopping by!

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I Attended An Anxiety Workshop | Part 2

This week is a continuation of last week’s blog post, titled I Attended an Anxiety Workshop. Please check it out if you haven’t read it yet. Thank you! ❤

On November 19, 2019, I attended the last session of “Confront the Discomfort, which is an anxiety workshop offered to students at my university. I’m technically a student but at the same time, I am not a student. I am registered as a student, but I haven’t taken classes since being forced to withdraw in April 2019. I will be starting school again in January 2020. A part of me dreads 2020 because I used to think that 2020 was in the distant future. Well future, here I am so watch out! 🙊

peace-social-text-square-templateDuring the summer, I stopped taking my antidepressant medication. Please do not abruptly stop any kind of medication without speaking with your doctor first. After quitting my medications and significantly reducing my caffeine consumption, I am feeling mentally stronger these days. Hopefully, the progress I have made will be enough once I return to school in the new year. Ultimately, I figured that I had nothing left to lose and everything to gain by attending this anxiety workshop.

“Stop being afraid of what could go wrong, and start being excited of what could go right.” —Tony Robbins

Shine Bright Like A Diamond

As mentioned in my previous blog post, I was unable to attend Session 2. Luckily, they were happy to fill me in on the details. Only I showed up for Session 3 (final week) so I got to word vomit all over ’em. Like diamonds, private counselling sessions like this one are incredibly rare, so I interpreted this opportunity as a blessing in disguise.

Here is what I’m having a hard time fathoming: One student in particular made a lame excuse as to why he couldn’t attend the last two sessions. Dude, here are 2 professionals who are willing to help you for FREE and instead, you rather turn down this opportunity? SMH. 🤦‍♀️

Tip of the Iceberg

Using the summary sheet from Session 2, we talked about The Anxiety Iceberg. If you have studied psychology, you’re probably familiar with this diagram. I don’t have an exact diagram to show you since the one they gave me is barren. Basically, the behaviors that we outwardly express on the surface are attached to underlying subconscious thoughts such as fears. What fears are holding you back in life? Why do you suffer from anxiety and what factors may have caused this? Most often, the root causes stem from negative childhood experiences. Our behaviors are a type of coping mechanism we have adapted in order to survive in the real world. In other words, your fears are meant to protect you.  

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What fears are you hiding under the surface?

As I dug a little deeper into my past, I learned that I have a fear of both success and failure. And balloons. I am afraid of succeeding at something that seems overambitious, like nursing school. In elementary school, I learned that peers will dislike you if you are the smartest kid in the class. In high school, I leaned that nobody will notice you if you are extremely introverted. Loneliness followed me throughout my childhood and adolescent years, which added to my depression and social anxiety.

In university, I was an average student. I took a mainstream degree so I could please my parents and win their approval. Unsurprisingly, a mainstream B.Sc. degree got me mainstream results. I stopped trying to stand out or achieve big dreams. I thought that I wanted to be like everyone else, but trying to fit into mainstream society DID NOT lead to a happier, more fulfilling life.

“Find light in the beautiful sea, I choose to be happy.” —Rihanna, Shine Bright Like a Diamond 💎


Emotional Activators: What is Really Going On?

Instructions:

  • Think of one emotional activator that triggers you.
  • Write it down on the tip of the iceberg.
  • Think of the memories, experiences, thoughts, and beliefs that contribute to this emotional activator in particular.
  • Then write these memories, experiences, thoughts, and beliefs under the water of the iceberg → This is what’s really happening.
  • What can you do to better manage/respond to this activator? Write down 3-5 strategies.
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Drowning to be reborn again as her true self. Source: https://wall.alphacoders.com 

Thank you so much for joining the conversation last week, and leaving such lovely and insightful comments. This week, I plan to finish replying to the rest of your comments. I apologize for taking my sweet-ass time, as I unintentionally got swept away into the addictive world of video gaming. 105+ hours later, I finally beat the game and awoke to the realities of life. As of today, this blog has gained 400 amazing followers which is a HUGE milestone for me. I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, for spreading the love and helping to keep this blog alive.

𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕪 𝕒𝕨𝕖𝕤𝕠𝕞𝕖, 𝕞𝕪 𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕤.

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I Attended an Anxiety Workshop

I recently joined an anxiety workshop on campus because my cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) therapist suggested that I should see what workshops are available to students. Then she told me that she is happy with the progress I’ve made so far, and that I don’t need to book another appointment until the end of the year. Um, okay.

I have some mixed feelings here: Will I be mentally prepared to handle school in January? What if I have another major depressive episode like last time? Will the progress I made this year be enough to overcome failure? 

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“Confront the Discomfort” is the workshop I accidentally stumbled upon two weeks ago. When I signed up that day, I was innocently checking emails instead of studying, and thus, procrastinating like it was nobody’s business. This workshop takes place every Tuesday on campus and runs for a total of 3 weeks. I was unable to attend the second workshop since my toddler was with me that day, and I highly doubt that they would have wanted her running around and screaming the place down.

Fight or Flight

I admit that I was hesitant to join this anxiety workshop, since I often dismiss the possibility that anyone can help me with my problems. However, earlier this year I surrendered to defeat and accepted the fact that I do not have the answers to my problems. Shocking, right? I have some of the answers, but not all of them. Also, I am usually reluctant to join social gatherings since my natural instinct is to isolate myself from people. Social anxiety is real man, but I know that social anxiety is not an uncommon disorder. To make matters worse, [social] anxiety sufferers are the ones who are likely to refuse help, and thus, unlikely to attend these workshops in the first place. And yet, anxiety sufferers are the ones who are most likely to benefit by attending these workshops.

So far, I have only attended Session 1, and I plan to attend the Session 3 next week. I was unable to attend the Session 2 so I am missing that worksheet. Using the summary sheet from Session 1, I want to show you how to do the 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique and the 3-7-8 Breathing Exercise. Both of these techniques are effective at calming your nerves so that you can focus to the present moment. I’ve been using the 3-7-8 Breathing Exercise for months now and can confirm that it works quickly and effectively.

5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique 

Preparation:

  • Place both of your feet flat on the floor.
  • Lean back into your chair, and make a mental note of the feeling of the chair under you and against your back.
  • Cross your arms over your chest.
  • Gently tap your shoulders, alternating one side at a time OR place your hands on your thighs and tap one leg at a time.

Directions:

  • Find 5 things that you SEE in the room.
  • Notice 4 things that you can FEEL in the room (feet on the floor, itchy sweater you’re wearing etc.)
  • HEAR 3 things in the room right now (traffic, clock ticking etc.)
  • What are 2 things that you can SMELL OR 2 smells that you like?
  • Get 1 thing that you can taste (mint, gum etc.) OR 1 taste that you like OR think of 1 thing that you like about yourself.

3-7-8 Breathing Exercise 

  • Breathe in quietly through your nose for 3 seconds.
  • Hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds.
  • With pursed lips, exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
  • Repeat the cycle as needed until you feel a sense of calmness.
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It is all about finding the clam in the chaos.

I am curious to know if you have attended workshops related to mental health, especially workshops focused on dealing with anxiety. When you were a college or high school student, were similar workshops available to you? If not, is this something that you would be interested in? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓

Thanks for stopping by!

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C’est La Vie

English translation? That’s life.

Oh, and I added a pun too. That’s Vee, the blogger who runs a site called milleniallifecrisis.org. In case you haven’t seen her blog yet, please do me a favor and check out her blog. This blog post will make more sense if you read her blog post first (see image below for a preview). Thank you, Vee, for your lovely shout-out! ❤

 Meeting Vee

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We both happened to be in the right place at the right time. The other day, Vee and I agreed to meet each other and chat over coffee at a local Starbucks. There is something quite relaxing about the smooth jazz usually playing in coffee shops, muffled chatter, and the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Vee is the first blogger who I had the privilege to meet in person from this wonderful WordPress community, so I am feeling very #blessed right now. Did I seriously just use the word #blessed in a sentence? Yes, yes I did.

I believe that every friendship needs to be built on a foundation of trust and respect. Meeting Vee made me feel at peace, and my social anxiety quickly subsided. In a way, I feel like we have been friends for a long time even though we had just met. Also, I felt a strange sense of familiarity as if we crossed paths before.

Fortunately, I learned that socializing with new people does not have to be scary. I often let social anxiety dictate my life so last week, I was really impressed by myself for stepping outside of my comfort zone. Because I am an introvert and a bit of a recluse, I prefer to hide in my house all day, everyday. However, I know that hiding is not a healthy coping mechanism. Not only that, but I recently learned that I actually prefer talking to people in person rather than video chatting or calling them on the phone. There is a stereotype that Millennials dislike making phone calls, so I guess I fit that stereotype! 🤷‍♀️

Finally, we should all celebrate our victories in life, no matter how big or small. As someone who deals with social anxiety and shyness myself, I understand how liberating it can be to push boundaries and face fears. In fact, I was initially drawn towards nursing school because I wanted to see if I could get comfortable with social anxiety.

“Every worthwhile accomplishment, big or little, has its stages of drudgery and triumph: a beginning, a struggle, and a victory.” ―Mahatma Gandhi

I am grateful that I had the rare opportunity to meet Vee in real life, and I hope that we will see each other again in the future. I am wondering if YOU ever met someone from the WordPress community. Who did you meet? Where you excited or nervous prior to meeting them? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓

Thanks for stopping by!

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3.2.1 Quote Me! – Love

I was nominated by the lovely Ilona Madam, who is one of my favourite bloggers in the WordPress community. I love the casual, French vibe she brings to her blog and I feel like we share a lot in common. For example, we are the same age, we are only children, and we are cat moms. She’s also an aspiring model and I’m like, totally not a model.🤷‍♀️

Mes amis, we can all learn from Ilona Madam to dream big in life and persue our passions. If you haven’t already done so, please take a moment to check out her blog. Merci beaucoup! 

Rules: 3.2.1 Quote Me!

“3.2.1 Quote Me” was created by a guy called Rory https://aguycalledbloke.blog/

⭐ Please note that Rory will be re-blogging your responses unless you wish for him to NOT do so 

“Once a week, I will pick a random topic, post two quotes on that topic and nominate 3 bloggers, who in turn will post 2 quotes on the topic and nominate 3 bloggers of their own.” – Rory 

  1. Thank the person who tagged you.
  2. Post two quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day. → Topic is LOVE ❤️
  3. Select three bloggers to take part in “3.2.1 Quote Me!” → I’m keeping the same topic: LOVE ❤️

➡️ My 2 quotes for the dedicated topic Love:

“Love is like the wind, you can’t see it but you can feel it.”
– Nicholas Sparks, A Walk to Remember

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.”
 John Lennon

➡️ My nominees:

Huguette

PoojaG

Michelle

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Meeting you 6 1/2 years ago was the best thing that ever happened to me ❤️

♥ HILARY TAN ♥

3.2.1 Quote Me! – Attitude

I was nominated by Ribana who runs a lovely blog called Popsicle Society. Thank you for nominating me, especially since I have been dealing with major depression and haven’t had the motivation to post new content. I hate to admit that this is the first time in 3 weeks since I’ve used my laptop. I appreciate that you thought about me, Ribana! ❤️

If you haven’t already done so, please check out her blog. She has a very positive outlook on life and helps me see things from a different perspective as I continue to challenge my self-limiting beliefs. It is easy for me to get lost in a sea of negative thoughts, and sometimes I need a reminder that there is hope for us all.

Rules: 3.2.1 Quote Me!

  1. Thank the person who tagged you.
  2. Post two quotes for the dedicated Topic of the Day.
  3. Select three bloggers to take part in “3.2.1 Quote Me!”

➡️ My 2 quotes for the dedicated topic Attitude:

“People may hear your words, but they feel your attitude.” John C. Maxwell

“Adopting the right attitude can convert a negative stress into a positive one.” Hans Selye

➡️ My nominees:

easydiet.blog

Nova’s Namaste 365 Online

Photography Trails

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This elegant image of Miku Hatsune illustrates depression in an artistic way. Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

♥ Hilary Tan ♥

 

Life is Not All Sunshine and Rainbows

dff7ca3cb3feec55e26b53eab08ad421This week, a wave of depression hit me like the plague. I’ve been dragging my feet since Monday, through slush, snow., anger, and sadness. The sun shone a little today but was mostly overcast. Nonetheless, I am enjoying the longer sunny days now that spring is right around the corner – so that’s something to be grateful for. Today wasn’t a good day since my mood made me completely incapable of concentrating on the task at hand and thus, I left clinical practice early. I cannot afford to miss any more days so this depression needs to be nipped in the bud ASAP. At least I am consciously aware of it and want to do something about the problem.

Here’s what I cannot do: I cannot pretend to be fine when I am not fine. In fact, people can see right through my facade. I know exactly what led to my depression and my neuroses caused me to negatively react, ruminate over the things I lack, and continue to dwell on my own shortcomings. However, even with strong willpower and determination to accept life as is, I don’t think that my depression could have been prevented. Eventually, I would have gotten “the news.”

depression-quote-hp-44-1What saddens me most is that I am not where I want to be in life, and I feel stuck which frustrates me so much. Part of me blames myself for royally screwing up school the first time around, thus forcing me to take not one but two degrees, and therefore, wasting 8-9 years of my life in university. I could have been a nurse by now. I could have been working in NICU by now. I could have had a house by now. I could have left this country by now. I could have been accomplishing better things by now. I could have been ahead by now. It feels like I am living in an illusion that is based solely on schedules, lack of time, coffee, deadlines…..and what for?

In order to deal with my depression, I plan on limiting distractions so that I can focus on school or at least until I finish the semester. There are 33 days left in the semester so during this time, I plan to limit all distractions in order to calm my worried little mind.

Thank you for understanding if I’m AFK.

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Less Talking, More Listening

Paradoxes are literally EVERYWHERE in life

What is a paradox? A paradox is a statement that may seem absurd or contradictory but yet can be true, or at least makes sense.

pict--arrow-loop-sales-arrows---vector-stencils-library.png--diagram-flowchart-exampleFunny thing that I learned about the universe is that life is a paradox with many smaller paradoxes. The littlest, most mundane (and sometimes most annoying) things in life may actually be trying to subtly teach you something. If you are a believer in God, then he is truly a master in disguise.

So I have been #not-blessed with this sickness after recovering from conjunctivitis last week. Being sick with one thing after another is far from pleasant. Anyways, my awful sore throat decided that my body would play host to it last Thursday while I was just starting to recover form conjunctivitis. See my last post for the full story. Unfortunately, I have not had a restful sleep in several days and this sore throat has no plans to leave any time soon. After finding out that I have laryngitis AND tracheitis (like is this really a thing?), the doctor told not to talk for the next 2-3 weeks to avoid agitating my larynx which will prevent coughing fits and lead to easier breathing. Because this sickness is probably viral, no OTC meds are going to help me recover any faster no matter how hard I try. Lovely, eh? Knowing that I have little control over my sickness and my health it seems, and that I should just STFU to make everything better, I know this recovery won’t be easy. Talking is part of my job as a student and part of my existence on this planet. I guess what God is trying to teach me is that I will need to do some deep introspective thinking about my life and the people who I interact with which isn’t necessarily a bad thing.

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Maybe its’s time to personally reflect on my own shortcomings to gain a deeper understanding of life | Photo sourced from https://www.pexels.com/photo/amazing-balance-blur-boulder-312839/

Ont thing that I am certain of in life is that everything happens for a reason or is somehow supposed to teach you lessons. So what is my lesson here? To become an active listener. Since I shouldn’t be talking, I will be forced to listen to others and think before I open my mouth.🤐

What lessons are you learning today? This month? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below↓

Thanks for stopping by!

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