No Carbs, No Life!

While I was taking my baby for a morning stroll in the lobby, with my fancy-ass Starbucks cup in hand, I felt extremely groggy. This might sound hypocritical because I am no longer supporting Starbucks. Why? Their prices have gotten completely out of control up here in North America. I am not going to spend $5 on a small chilled iced tea with 3/4 ice in it or $6 on a frappuchino, especially when I can make these drinks myself. There are Starbucks take-out cups in the hotel room so I made my own English Breakfast Tazo tea with a splash of vanilla soy milk. Yes, I am camping out at a hotel this week and the baby is less than amused. Personally, I don’t blame her. I would hate it here too if I was stuck in a stroller or playpen all day. She’s a Miss Monkey so I don’t exactly trust her on the bed. She’s figured out how to roll off of the bed already, despite the pillow barricade I made to prevent this incident from happening. My ruthlessness must make me a bad mother, but I have yet to meet one mother who hasn’t made any mistakes. I’m a flawed human raising a 50% look-a-like munchkin with monkey abilities. So sue me. pexels-photo-227668.jpegAfter my 11-hour night’s sleep divided by 1 diaper change and a feeding, you would think that is plenty of sleep for a normal adult. However, this isn’t an “off-day” for me since I could sleep all day, every day, given the opportunity. I’m not sure how long I have had iron deficiency anemia, but I’m guessing that it has been affecting me for years. The signs which weren’t so obvious years ago are very obvious now. No amount of pills, diet changes, sunshine or prayer have helped me recover. While I was sipping my morning tea, I grabbed my spastic phone and started researching Iron Deficiency Anemia treatments like a madwoman.

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This isn’t the first time that I have researched this particular topic. I wasn’t searching for iron supplements or injection sites since my current city of residence doesn’t offer iron shots. No. I was looking for ways to increase my iron levels on my own. In my previous post, Why I left Multi-Level Marketing, I mentioned that I am tired of taking supplements and having to rely on them to function somewhat normally. I also mentioned that I am miserable on a low-carbohydrate diet and that this love-hate relationship with food isn’t working out.

Somehow, I have managed to convince myself that I am sickly, thanks to the internet confirming my beliefs that I have these disorders/diseases, to name a few: Celiac disease, lactose intolerance, depression, tooth decay and chronic fatigue. This leaves me with very limited food options. No wheat. No dairy. No sugar. No life.


Disclaimer: What you are about to see is not mine. You can check out Jenny’s website for more hilarious posts at The Bloggess.

“OH I DON’T NEED REAL FOOD. I’LL JUST LIVE ON THIS RAW CABBAGE.  I’M SO HAPPY. THIS IS FINE. EVERYTHING IS FINE.”

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This particular post by Jenny Lawson made my day brighter. Luckily, nobody heard me actually Laughing Out Loud in the front lobby downstairs. I must have looked foolish in my pajamas, unbrushed hair and ratty hoodie surrounded by a large wedding party that appeared out of nowhere. There were 10 bridesmaids blocking my path as I sheepishly meandered my way through the blockade of picture-perfect cover girls. I don’t understand how some people can be so loud, hyper and happy ALL. THE. TIME. Perhaps this is my fatigue and depression talking. Seriously, I must have looked pathetic as I made my way past them while avoiding eye-contact and feeling sorry for myself that I’ll never get to be a bridesmaid in my lifetime.

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