1000 Followers: A New Milestone!

(っ◔◡◔)っ1000 Followers! Thank you so much for following this blog!

This was one of my long-term goals which I was hoping to reach by Spring 2021. I can happily say that I reached this goal on July 24, 2021 which is good considering that I seldom post new content on this blog. My only concern about keeping a free blog domain is that I may lose all of these stats if I were to switch to a paid domain. Knowing that I am not committed enough to post on a weekly or bi-weekly basis, I should probably stick to this free domain for now. I hope that you will continue to join me on my blogging journey when the inevitable happens, because one day I will have no choice but to upgrade and buy a domain.

Honestly, I did not expect to gain 1000 wonderful followers, and yet, here we are. I still believe that this blog has a lot of potential and I am already envisioning it reaching 2,000 followers. I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, for spreading the love and helping to keep this blog alive! ❤

The No. 1 Mistake that Bloggers Make

My No. 1 tip when it comes to gaining followers is to actively engage with the people who bring traffic to your blog. And by this, I mean responding to the comments that you receive, as well as visiting their blogs in return. Without engaging with your readers, you will have to outwork the algorithm by spamming the WP reader and annoying your followers. Please don’t be that person. Without comments from your followers, your blog is practically dead space in the blogging sphere. And I think that is a waste of your precious time and energy. At the end of the day, followers help keep your blog alive, and your blog is nothing without loyal followers. I know this sounds harsh but it is the truth. Somebody needs to say it, so it might as well be me. I do not expect everyone to agree with me, nor do I want everyone to agree with me. All that I ask is that bloggers are kind to one another and understand that everyone is entitled to an opinion. Not everyone thinks the same way as you do, so I stress the importance of keeping an open mind. I also stress the importance of supporting other bloggers, because it is not all about you.

You should be allowed to leave a comment without worrying about being blocked for having a different opinion. You should be allowed to have intellectual conversations without questioning it. You should be allowed to give another blogger constructive criticism/advice without getting snarky, rude replies in exchange. I shouldn’t have to worry about these things, but I feel like I am stepping on eggshells with some bloggers. Even though I still follow some of these bloggers after having some nasty encounters with them, I stopped engaging with them on their blogs. I stopped liking and commenting on their blog posts. And that is something that they should be worried about. They basically lost future business with me, and any entrepreneur would tell you not to make enemies with potential customers.

If you can’t say anything nice, then don’t say anything at all!

–Unknown

Another Mistake That Bloggers Make

My No. 2 tip is not to anger your faithful readers and followers by pushing them away. Remember, the spammy genuine comments is the main reason why your blog is alive and well. Like a healthy garden, you need to water it often and trim the weeds 🌱 Also, you need to be able to regulate your emotions so you don’t piss off the blogging community and ultimately drive your loyal followers away. Personally, I love having healthy debates with people who are able to keep things mutual and respectful. Not everyone is going to agree with everything I say, nor should they. I am happy that people feel comfortable commenting in the comments section below 🠓, and that everyone feels welcome here. I am really grateful for the 1000 wonderful followers who chose to follow this blog! 🌻🌻

“Be who you are and say what you feel,

Because those who mind don’t matter,

And those who matter don’t mind.”

–Dr. Seuss

Thanks for stopping by! ❤

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De-crapify Your Habitat: The Basics

Ever since we moved into our new house, we have been in the process of making this place feel like home. The previous owners did a great job renovating the place, which won my heart since the minute I stepped through the front door. Each room was pleasantly inviting and tastefully decorated.

Since the day we moved in, I have been trying to re-create that same feeling. It is incredible how a seemingly large, empty room looks so spacious when nothing is occupying that space vs. having a house full of crap stuff. So this begs the question: how do we keep our new house organized and my stress levels in check? 

Home Sweet Home

Cleaning has always been a challenge for me and I feel like I have ADHD when it comes to cleaning and organizing, because I have such a hard time focusing on any given task. I never understood people who actually enjoy taking part in cleaning rituals or people who have picture-perfect homes, like the previous house owners. Since moving last month, I have unintentionally manifested secret junk drawers. They appear out of nowhere and the universe seems to think that I need them in my life.

Personally, I do not think that my family will ever learn how to keep a house tidy like Marie Kondo, or learn to love cleaning/organizing despite our best efforts. My fantasy self would suggest otherwise. My fantasy self adheres to a list of rules that will change your life, such as the one I am going to share with you below ↓ Take my list with a grain of salt, since I have yet to figure out how this list has made any lasting impact in my personal life. I’ll go on these cleaning sprees until I burn myself out, only to relapse and become mentally lazy.

Disclaimer: I created this list from a bunch of different sources and kept it on my phone, untouched for years. And like any organizational expert such my fantasy self would tell you, one also needs to focus on removing digital clutter. Therefore, I am releasing it into the universe so that I can finally delete it from my phone, once and for all. Welcome to my little corner of the internet! 👼

Does This List Really Work? 🤷‍♀️

(✿◠‿◠)Why don’t you try it for yourself and let me know if it works! 

1. Make your bed every day.
2. Put toys in a designated spot; use a storage system if that is an option.
3. Garbage belongs in the garbage.
4. Remove the dishwasher after wash cycle is complete. Load the dishwasher as you go and clean the counter top when you are finished cooking. Aim for #sink-zero every night.
5. Keep the bathroom countertop clutter free if possible. Wipe down with antibacterial wipes. Wipe the toilet and scrub the toilet.
6. Do one load of laundry every day. (2-3 times per week for us)
7. Keep kitchen countertop clutter free. Spray antibacterial in the sink.
8. Vacuuming the floor and heavy duty areas (kitchen and dining areas) once every day. Keep the floor clutter free and remove clutter as you go.
9. Shoe organization. Get some cheap storage baskets with a nice lining and/or a shoe rack!
10. Take care of the mail as soon as it enters the house.


(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ FINAL THOUGHTS ♥

Since moving into our new house, I am still in the process of de-cluttering a lot of rooms. I have seen other bloggers post before and after photos which is a nice idea, but my after photos look just like my before photos. A preschooler does an excellent job of re-crapifying every nook and cranny. As I dig deeper into my strong desire to keep my home clutter-free, I am learning more about myself in the process. It took me years to finally realize that clutter heightens my already high anxiety levels. When I eventually figure out how to de-crapify my habitat once and for all, I will be the first one to write a ground-breaking blog post about it.

Thanks for stopping by! ❤

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Ice Ice Baby!

You might be thinking, “What the heck is she talking about?” The title of this blog post will make sense in a moment. And no, I am not talking the illicit drug known as “ice”. I am literally talking about frozen water such as ice cubes, crushed ice etc. and weird pregnancy cravings. This is a vulnerable post so I encourage you to read the whole blog post before jumping to conclusions. Btw, all images are my own and any advice I share here is based on personal experiences. And just to be clear, I am not a medical doctor nor am I here to give medical advice.

Some Quick Life Updates

I have been busy this month studying for the NCLEX, so I don’t have a list of goals to follow except for the ones that were carried over from March 2021. I really need to pass this exam, and it is has been stressing me out because I still don’t feel prepared. To be honest, I don’t think that I will ever truly feel prepared for this exam. Also, I was working up until this past weekend, and had to decline another shift because it is getting increasingly more difficult for me to work; right now I am 34 weeks pregnant and feel totally useless. I picked up one CDC shift this week which is a work-from-home job, and I feel guilty for not picking up additional shifts right now. There is only so much that I can do these days without losing my sanity 🙄 In the meantime, my cravings for crushed ice are very intense. I crave ice more than I crave MCDs coffee and bubble tea.

Most of you probably enjoy munching on the ice at the bottom of your glass on a hot summer day, and it is quite normal to enjoy the occasional ice cube from time to time. But is it normal to crave ice every day, regardless of season? I have what is known as “Pica” which is defined as:

Pica – craving and chewing substances that have no nutritional value – such as ice, clay, soil, or paper. Craving and chewing ice is often associated with iron deficiency, with or without anemia, although the reason is unclear. – Mayo Clinic

For most people with pica, it is usually due to a deficiency and goes away once the deficiency is corrected. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I craved ice from 1st trimester up until I gave birth. We did not have access to the best health care services in Saskatchewan, so my anemia was easily overlooked. Apparently, I was severely anemic and nobody caught onto this, including myself. After I had my daughter, my ice cravings went away soon after. I think that pagophagia, that is, cravings for ice, are highly correlated with low iron levels during pregnancy. Now that I am wiser and have better access to healthcare where I currently live, I am suspicious that my iron levels might be dropping again, so I will be getting another blood test in the upcoming weeks. In the meantime, I plan to start taking an iron supplement.

Symptoms Related to Iron Deficiency Anemia (IDA)

I am going to share with you some of the symptoms that I deal with on a day-to-day basis. Women in their child-bearing years are highly susceptible to Iron Deficiency Anemia (IDA). You might have IDA and not even know it, since other health conditions can cause these symptoms as well. One particular thing that screams iron deficiency for me is pagophagia (cravings for ice) which is based solely on my personal experiences. Please speak to your doctor if you think that you may be deficient in iron or have similar symptoms as I do. I am not going to go into detail about the pathophysiology, pharmacology, and biological pathways related to IDA. If you are interested in that stuff, feel free to check out this link for more information.

My Iron Deficiency Symptoms:

  1. Pica: Cravings for ice, dirt, clay etc. Has anyone watched My Strange Addiction? It is a rather disturbing show and yet I watched all of the episodes I could find on YouTube 😂 I am convinced that several of these people have Pica. Personally, I don’t think cravings for ice is that bad except that it is terrible for tooth enamel, but overall, I don’t think that my addiction to ice is hurting anyone. I know that every addict says that, but it’s just frozen water, people. It is not like I am eating paint chips or chalk. Personally, I prefer soft ice over hard ice (yes, there is a difference!). If you suddenly develop cravings for non-food items, please don’t ignore this red flag and speak to your doctor. I am not here to glamorize Pica – it is abnormal.
  2. Extreme fatigue and lack of energy Like I said before, other conditions can mask iron deficiency anemia (IDA). From personal experience, I know that 3rd trimester is exhausting, and perhaps my lack of energy and feeling like I am going to pass out are linked to that. However, fatigue and overall lack of energy are also related to low iron levels.
  3. Breathlessness with light exercise Perhaps this is related to pregnancy, as I am extremely exhausted climbing stairs these days. I can barely walk to the mailbox down the street without feeling totally exhausted. Even getting ready for work was a daunting task that I dreaded, and it is a miracle that I can even managed to get through the day without feeling like I was going to collapse any second. Other people have even pointed out that I look tired. Extreme exhaustion is not normal and should be discussed with your doctor if you are experiencing similar symptoms.
  4.  Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) Since 1st trimester, I have been getting the worst leg and foot cramps at night. On average, I get anywhere from 2-6 leg cramps, including Charlie Horses, in a single night. I also get horrible itching at night, so I often need to resort to an over-the-counter (OTC) anti-allergy medication, which doesn’t always relieve the itching. When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had similar itching so I know this is probably a pregnancy thing. But is it really a pregnancy thing, or an iron deficiency thing? 🤔 I already discussed this with my doctor and was told to increase my magnesium intake. The dose that she recommended for me is quite high so I am going to try a magnesium gel to help calm my restless legs at night. Apparently, gels and sprays are much more absorbent then magnesium gummies. If you are curious to know where I order most of my melatonin and magnesium products from, I use a Canadian site called www.naturalcalm.ca. Even though they only ship within Canada, I have seen some of their products in US stores.
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First comes love, then comes marriage 💕

Are you experiencing similar symptoms? Do you have weird cravings for things like ice? If yes, then I would highly recommend getting your iron levels checked. Sometimes, relying on food sources that are high in iron is just not enough, especially if you are also expecting 🤰 If you are struggling with pica or any of the symptoms I listed above, I want you to know that there is hope. Feel free to join the comments section below ↓ if you can relate to these struggles or deal with a deficiency. It helps knowing that I am not alone ♥ I will do my best to reply to your comments!

Thanks for stopping by!

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March Recap | Spring 2021

I wanted to upload a new blog post highlighting my goals for the month of March but I was working yesterday evening. And earlier this week, I was too exhausted to do anything productive. I am a very last-minute person when it comes to blogging because it is not my top priority these days, so consequently, my blog posts tend to be a bit late. As of late, WP has changed the settings yet again so I am not very eager to use the WP editor. A blogger suggested that I write my rough drafts elsewhere so I am trying Microsoft Word now. If this works, you might be seeing more blog posts from me in the future.

Although March started off slowly, I did end up picking up more shifts mid-March. In terms of the habit-tracker, I stopped using it because I find that a basic list is fine for my needs. I have simplified my life so much that nothing is overly complicated anymore. Furthermore, I believe that much of our anxiety and depression stems from having overly-complicated schedules and lifestyles. Don’t get me wrong – I still get anxiety and depression, but it’s manageable despite doing things that are still anxiety-provoking. I also pride myself for living medication-free and am living proof that one can work through their problems using a holistic approach. 


Learning to Let Go 🧘‍♀️🌱

I feel less guilty declining shift offers as long as I do not have to interact with people. Much of my shift offers are done through texting/email which I am totally fine with. I ended up picking up extra shifts this month and my once-barren schedule for March quickly became a colorful mosaic. I am the type who feels like it is my obligation help out wherever I can, while forgetting that I have other things to do like studying for an upcoming NCLEX exam that continues to nip at my ankles. Reflecting on the March of March, here are the goals that I managed to accomplish:

MARCH GOALS 2021

Career Goals:

  • Continue picking up more shifts if it fits my schedule I managed to pick up a few extra shifts during the month of March and I am proud of myself for doing this. Let’s not forget that I am a newbie and stepping outside of my comfort zone makes me feel uncomfortable. I will admit that I often cry before shifts because I am terrified of the unknown. My dad used to tell me that I wasn’t making progress because my comfort zone only stemmed from my study desk to the garbage can in my room. And he was right. A person will not make much progress if they are unwilling to step outside of their bedroom, unless they are a full time blogger of course. As a teenager, I hardly left my room and my parents’ friends knew me as the girl who hibernated in her room and lived in her pajamas. To this day, I still live in my pajamas but I have made a lot of progress since then.
  • If shifts become available for second job, try to bid on them I ended up getting 3 shifts for my side-hustle job which was surprising. I did not have much luck bidding on shifts this week but that’s okay. You win some, you lose some. I predict that there will be a dry spell in April 2021 so I am not going to get my hopes up too much. Also, I might lose this job entirely once my job title changes (long story). Any extra shifts I am able to get during the month of April will be a bonus and definitely not something that I feel entitled to have.
  • Complete 1-2% of UWorld each day ➡ Test date is April 26, 2021 Yikes. I do not feel ready to write this exam and will probably never feel fully prepared. It is very exhausting juggling this pregnancy with a busy work schedule, and I hardly find the time to study these days. I am currently 86% done the QBank which I am proud of but I am still terrified of writing the NCLEX. I really need to pass this exam because my future depends on it #no-pressure
  • Finish writing the 3-6 month learning plan I submitted the learning plan but I still question how I am going to complete everything on the list. It is stuff like this that keeps me up at night. My learning plan is ambitious so I am really hoping that I will be able to finish it on time. I continue to try my best at work, but is “my best” really enough? I always feel like I could be doing more and never seem to feel satisfied with things.

Personal Goals:

  • Publish 1-2 blog posts per month Let’s face it: I am writing the bare minimum right now. I am not sure if I will be uploading a goals-related blog post for April yet. Like I mentioned earlier, blogging is not my priority right now but I do find that these posts help keep me accountable for my actions. Also, I do not want to become complacent with my writing which is the main reason why I continue to blog.
  • Keep tabs on doctor’s appointments/pending appointments I went to all of my doctor’s appointments this month. However, I need to schedule a few more appointments which I plan to do during the months of April and May. I am still on the edge as to whether or not I should get the COVID-19 vaccine now or after I give birth. I am eligible to sign up for a vaccine now, so I am seriously considering it. There are a lot of appointments to keep track of so I recommend using a basic planner to keep track of everything, such as these ones:
  • Send some Easter snail mail I sent a bunch of mail to those who gave me their current addresses, but I have mixed feelings about continuing this craft. I love sending snail mail but I seldom get mail in return. Not only that, but half of the time, pen pals do not let me know if they received their mail so I often wonder if the mail got lost or something. Lack of communication drives me crazy and I try to practice what I preach. I try to let people know via email or text message when I have received their mail. Seriously, how difficult is that? 🙄
  • Continue tracking monthly spending I am really proud of this one, since I only spent $170.15 on myself during the month of March. My credit card bill was low because I cut out so many unnecessary expenses (except my monthly phone bill) and kept myself busy. I continue to shop at Dollarama but I go there once a week and spend ~$20-30 per trip. Did I mention that I still have money left over on that Tim Hortons gift card that I earned from Swagbucks back in January? I decided to finally use up the gift card by splurging on some treats for the family. It is hard to believe that $25 lasted me 1.5 months! With the Tims Rewards, Roll Up the Rim (RUTR), and hockey promotion thing, I managed to score some bonus drinks too! 🙌

Health Goals:

My only “health goal” was to stay healthy 😷 I am doing everything I can to keep myself and my family healthy, especially since I am exposed to potential pathogens at my workplace. Currently, I am craving crushed ice really badly which is a sign of iron deficiency. It is called Pica and I had cravings for ice chips when I was pregnant with my daughter as well. It turns out that I was severely anemic last time. I am not too worried this time because my cravings did not start until 3rd trimester where iron deficiencies are quite common; therefore, I am trying to eat things rich in iron. If anyone happens to know any recipes that are loaded with iron, please let me know in the comments section below ↓ In the meantime, I will continue chomping in my ice chips 😋

P.S. A while ago, I uploaded a Virgin Pina Colada recipe on my blog. I can assure you that all of my drinks are non-alcoholic. My current obsession are Virgin Lime Margaritas. My takeaway is that you can still enjoy these fancy drinks even when you are pregnant. Non-alcoholic drinks do not have to be “boring.” Another reason why I like these drinks is because #crushed-ice. It’s so refreshing! 🥥🍍

Thanks for stopping by!

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March Goals | Spring 2021

February was a busy month for me. Although I have been using a daily and monthly habit tracker to keep track of my goals, it did not dawn on me to write a goals-related or monthly recap blog post. Now that we are well into the month of March, I am going to skip February altogether. I won’t bore you with a February recap, and March is pretty much a continuation of February. Overall, my goals have not changed that much within the span of a month.

March started off slowly as I did not have anything scheduled near beginning of the month. As the month progressed, my schedule got busier and I found myself with very little time to sit down, gather my thoughts, and write a semi-decent blog post that I was passionate about. Today, I feel like I do not have time to craft a blog post; however, anxiety is at an all-time high for me. Therefore, I feel like writing this blog post is not optional at this point. Right now, I am feeling very stressed with everything that is happening in my life, especially when trying to find work-life balance. I am grateful for the casual hours but I am still dealing with anxiety and feelings of inadequacy, nonetheless.

Re-grounding Myself 🌱

Today, I had to decline a shift offer which was incredibly difficult for me since I am a people pleaser. To make matters worse, I kept replaying the phone call in my head over and over again. This particular event has been on my mind all day which has hindered me from getting any productive work done. During times like these, I need to remember to re-ground myself and focus on the list so I can get out of my own head. I will show you my list for the month of March. My daily lists are very similar except that daily lists include mundane tasks like cooking and cleaning. So what does my list for the month of March look like? Here, let me show you:

March Goals 2021

Career Goals:

  • Continue picking up more shifts if it fits my schedule
  • If shifts become available for second job, try to bid on them
  • Complete 1-2% of UWorld each day ➡ Test date is April 26, 2021
  • Finish writing the 3-6 month learning plan

Personal Goals:

  • Publish 1-2 blog posts per month
  • Keep tabs on doctor’s appointments/pending appointments
  • Send some Easter snail mail ✔
  • Continue tracking monthly spending

Health Goals:

Don’t get me started on my health goals. My goal to make water my beverage of choice went out the window because I crave icy, sugary drinks these days. I am not watching my weight right now nor am I counting calories. I am not overweight so I am not concerned, but the amount of sugar I am consuming is a bit alarming. In happier news, I passed the glucose tolerance test (GTT) last month so I do not have gestational diabetes. My bloodwork also came back normal so I’m happy about that! It is hard to believe that I am in 3rd trimester already ❤ Grow baby, grow!

I choose to believe that the quote by Roy T. Bennett is true. I have seen growth in my personal life because I continued to focus on my goals every day, regardless of how mundane they were. There will always be good days and bad days, and as long as you keep watering your plants everyday, you will be successful in life. I am curious to know if you use a daily or monthly habit tracker. Have you had success with your habit tracker? Are you building your dreams and chasing your life purpose? I am curious to know in the comments section below ↓

Thanks for stopping by!

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Affordable Self-Care Ideas

Are you one of those people who could use a self-care day to recharge? Me! Pick me! 🙋‍♀️ If you happen to fit into one of the two categories below, then you would probably benefit from a self-care day. Personally, I fit into both categories depending on where I stand in my work and personal life. When I am unemployed, I learn more towards #2 and when I am employed or taking courses, I learn more towards #1. Not to mention that we are also dealing with a freaking pandemic, which has taken a toll on people’s mental health.

(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ So tell me, what kind of person are you? ♥
1. You are overwhelmed because you feel that you need to stay busy, or you have a hard time relaxing when you do have free time.
2. You do not know what to do with your free time so you end up doing nothing productive or rejuvenating.

Below, I have compiled a list of affordable self-care strategies that will not break the bank and will hopefully help you recharge and reground yourself. I cannot stress how important it is to take care of your mental health and well-being, especially during these difficult times. Obviously, I am not a party planner nor am I going to plan out the whole day from morning to night. What I will do is give you some free or budget-friendly suggestions for a self-care day. Self-care does not have to be elaborate or expensive! Let’s get started, shall we?

Go For A Walk Outside

What? You don’t walk your cat?

When my cat was sick, my husband took him to the vet. Afterwards, my husband spoiled the cat by letting him venture outside. And the cat loved it! ❤ Pet parents do not hesitate to take their dogs (and cats) out for walks, but when was the last time you took yourself out for a walk? Are you spending way too much time indoors and not enough time in the great outdoors? If you live in Canada like me, I totally understand why you may choose to stay inside the house. Canada is cold AF, especially in this province. If the weather is nice where you are, depending on what your definition of “nice” is, I encourage you to stand barefoot on the grass as a way to ground yourself and reconnect with Mother Nature.

Spending time outside can be incredibly therapeutic. I encourage all of you to leave the house at least once a day if you can, and spend some time outdoors. Right now, I am not getting my daily walks and my mood is suffering as a result. I am probably Vitamin D deficient because I hardly ever see the sun 🌞 My blinds are closed as I write this and I keep my windows shut due to the frigid cold. Also, the paths are icy AF outside so I try not to leave the apartment. The affordable solution is to suck it up and spend time outdoors, but knowing how terrible my balance is, I rather not deal with a sprained wrist or ankle. If you live in a warmer climate, then you are incredibly fortunate! 🌴

Enjoy A Hot Beverage

You can make a soothing tea at home for a fraction of the price!

There is something soothing about sipping a hot beverage any day of the week ☕💕 A hot beverage is fairly inexpensive if you make it yourself at home. Also, it is easy to make a basic coffee, tea, or hot chocolate, so there is really no excuse not to enjoy a cup or two. My favourite thing to do first thing in the morning is to enjoy a hot beverage while I read the latest blog posts from my fellow WP bloggers!

Read A Book

Got a book that you had every intention to read, but never got around to reading? Now is a good time to pick up that book and yenno, actually read it. I cannot tell you how The life-changing art of tidying up ends because I never finished reading it. Seeing my pile of unread books made me realize that there is no reason to buy more books when I haven’t even finished the ones I have. Reading can turn into an expensive hobby, which is why I encourage you to shop your own house first before buying more books.

Take a Bath

Source: Miku Hatsune from wallup.net

I used to be a shower person, but I have evolved into a bath person over the years. I take a bath 3-5 times per week, and thus, the shower gel and body butter did not last long. Enjoying a warm bath is honestly one of my favourite ways to relax. Also, I noticed that taking a bath is the fastest way for me to warm up after being outside in the frigid cold. Not to mention, baths can elevate a crappy mood, relieve muscle aches and pains, and reduce stress levels. Although I prefer to take a bath midday, I still recommend taking a bath at the end of day before bedtime. Why? Because baths have the tendency to calm an overactive mind, relax you, and make you sleepy. If you suffer from insomnia or anxiety like I do, then try adding this bath ritual to your schedule to help you wake up feeling more refreshed the next day.


(っ◔◡◔)っ ♥ Final Thoughts ♥

Finally, I would suggest journaling. However, I do not find it very relaxing. I use a planner to stay organized but that’s as much journaling as I do these days. I used to enjoy writing letters to pen-pals and still do to an extent, but it has been difficult for me to find the motivation and energy to send snail mail. I apologize to anyone who I have not responded to via email; I haven’t had the motivation to write my wordy, thought-provoking replies. It is not that I have forgotten about you ❤ Same goes with pen-pals – I have not forgotten about you either and I will send more mail when I find the desire to write again 💌

Thanks for stopping by!

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10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Let’s face it. Most of us are nosy people. At some point, I am guessing that you were probably curious about my life. I consider myself to be a fairly private person for the most part. Tiani Angela, who runs a blog called tianiangela.com, inspired me to write this vulnerable blog post. You can read her original blog post here. Like Tiani’s blog post, my blog post is extra-personal as well. Please read without judgement and keep and open mind. Thanks. 😊

10 Interesting Facts About Me

1. I am an only child. And I am not happy about it. I was never happy about it. I always felt like I was meant to have a sibling and being an only child felt “wrong” to me. When I was 18, I learned that I was a double-rainbow baby which explains a lot 🌈🌈 When I was 12, I asked my parents to adopt an orphan from China and sadly, they said no. I think that is where my fascination for Asian culture started.

2. I married an Asian boy. The fascination for Asian culture continued into my adult years. Although I have long graduated from reading manga and seldom watch anime these days, my husband has taught me a lot about his Asian roots, specifically Singaporean roots. I met him in January 2013 and we have been together ever since. He is my rock and we have been married since May 2016.

Celebrating Mother’s Day. with the hubby. You can’t go wrong with a cake from Costco!

3. I am mother to a Eurasian toddler. Most of you already know that I am a mom since it’s in my About Me section, yet people often seemed surprised when I tell them. I am a Millennial in my late twenties so I am not that young anymore. I try to follow other bloggers who are also in their 20’s+ but a few younger bloggers have slipped through the cracks. My daughter is a rambunctious 4-year old who loves life. Her favourite thing to say is, “Mommy, be happy.”

4. I had a miscarriage in October, 2015. My daughter was planned and she is a rainbow baby. Prior to having my daughter, I had a miscarriage and it was devastating. I feel like miscarriage is a topic that often gets swept under the rug even though 1:4 women end up having a miscarriage in their lifetime. Miscarriage is more common than people think and it shouldn’t be ignored. For anyone who has had a miscarriage, I want you to know that you are not alone. 👼

5. Given the choice, I would be a fruitarian. I ❤ Fruit! I find the fruitarian lifestyle intriguing and it would be my diet of choice if boundaries did not exist. However, I have a background in nutrition and neutraceutical sciences (NANS) from the University of Guelph, so I know that a fruitarian diet is not the answer to long-term health and longevity.

6. My pupils are different sizes. And this is concerning to neurologists. Ironically, my first clinical placement this semester was on an acute neurosurgery/neurology unit. I cannot tell you how concerned some of the staff was when I told them that I was born this way. When pupils are two different sizes, this usually indicates some kind of brain lesion or altered level of consciousness (LOC).

7. Also related to eyes, I am a carrier of Familial Exudative Vitreoretinopathy (FEVR). Even though I am asymptomatic, my daughter is one of the unlucky few who is symptomatic. She was born blind in her left eye as a result of FEVR. According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, FEVR defines a group of inherited diseases with abnormal retinal angiogenesis leading to incomplete vascularization of the peripheral retina. Every 3-6 months, my daughter gets routine surgery and receives laser surgery if necessary. Laser surgery is dependent on the progression of this eye disease. If she does not receive routine checkups, there is a risk that she could become blind in both eyes because the disease typically affects the eyes bilaterally.

Despite FEVR, she is a happy child 🌞

8. I was anorexic when I was 13 years old. I hate it when people try to glamorize anorexia to get attention or pretend they have an eating disorder when in fact they don’t. You’ll often notice this in the blogging sphere and social media and it’s is one of my pet peeves. I can tell you that anorexia is NOT glamorous. It is an eating disorder (ED) that the individual cannot control. These individuals know that it is wrong; they have insight but they lack judgement. I wish I had pictures and clothes to show you what I looked like at 98 lbs. but I don’t have any “memorabilia”. My parents threw out those memories without my permission. 

9. I attended 3 different universities. I am not making this up, unlike some people I know. I attended University of Guelph from 2010-2014 and obtained a degree in biological sciences. I also minored in nutrition and neutraceutical sciences (NANS). Sadly, I realized that I would not be able to truly thrive with this degree so I took some courses through Athabasca University, an accredited online university in Canada. Now, I am nursing student who is living in Alberta and I plan to graduate by the end of the year. It’s been a long journey and I am really, really tired of school. 

10. I own a 210ish year old violin. Or something like that. I lost track of its exact age; my violin is ancient. It’s been passed down in the family and got sold at one point. Fortunately, my dad was very lucky and managed to rescue the violin for me, which I received as a birthday gift. I named my violin Matilda the III and she has a very rich, pure sound. I haven’t played her in years since she doesn’t live with me, but I love the way she sounds. 

Well, there you have it! Did anything in my list surprise you? If so, what did you find most surprising? Do you know me as well as you thought you did? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ If you decide to write a similar blog post, please let me know so I can check it out. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by!

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I Was a Fool (For Snow)

In response to Vee’s recent blog post, So Much Snow, I ended up writing a parody of the song, I Was a Fool by Tegan and Sara. I encourage you to grab a hot beverage and stay awhile ☕💕 If you enjoyed this parody, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here. Also, I highly encourage you to check out Vee’s blog #MILLENIALLIFECRISIS if you haven’t already done so. Her blog is as real as it gets! Thanks for reading! ✨

[Verse 1]
Do you remember you searched me out?
How you climbed my city’s walls?
Do you remember it’s October?
Winter now echoes my calls

[Pre-Hook]
Now I’m chilled to the bone
Froze to death is all I did

[Hook]
You stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool
I was a fool

[Verse 2]
You keep showing up in my world
When will you leave me alone?
Then you decide to linger near me
You refuse to go away

[Pre-Hook]
Now (now) I’m (I’m) chilled to the bone
(chilled to the bone)
Froze (froze) to (to) death is all I did
(is all I did)

[Hook]
You still stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)

[Bridge]
I never liked you so please go away
It’s too early for these winter days
You best be looking for another place
Without me in that space, within that space

[Pre-Hook]
Now (now) I’m (I’m) chilled to the bone
(chilled to the bone)
Froze (froze) to (to) death is all I did
(is all I did)

[Hook]
You still stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow (I was a fool)
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)

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Whatever This Is

“Whatever this is, wherever this takes me, I will find my own way, one step at a time.” —nonsensical quote by Me, Myself, and I

COVID-19 has long extended its stay and it is starting to affect my life in a negative way. First, here is a quick update as to why I disappeared from the blogging sphere. I went back to school in mid September and I have been busy with 13hr-clinical shifts at the hospital. Days when I am not there, I am at home catching up on sleep. Things were going smoothly up until last week, when I was told to isolate for 14+ days as the unit is officially on coronavirus watch. I do not know what this entails except that I have been out of school for almost a week now with no return date in sight.

I do not like leaving my fate in someone else’s hands. 2019 and 2020 taught me to take control of my own life, where I started taking accountability and responsibility for all of my actions and fuck-ups. In this case, however, I am challenged by uncertainty and I do not like that. Skipping school, regardless of whether they are day shifts or graveyard shifts, feels wrong to me. Also, nobody else seems bothered by the fact that I am supposed to be at clinical right now, and yet here in my pajamas, frittering my life away. Am I taking life too seriously? Is my neurosis out of control? I am halfway through final semester and yet my hands are tied behind my back. I cannot move, as if I am a chess piece being cornered by the most obnoxious opponent ever. I am looking at you, COVID-19. And I do not want to play this game anymore.

The cat doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

We Are All Fine. Except We Aren’t Fine.

Is this depression? No, I know what depression feels like. Honestly, I do not know how to describe this empty feeling that I have been dealing with lately. I am sure that many of you have also been negatively impacted by the pandemic, whether it is directly or indirectly. Tell me, how are you coping with the pandemic? Are you fine? Because I am not fine. I think it is time that we stop convincing ourselves that this way of life is supposed to our new “normal.” Because this is NOT a normal way to live, people. All it takes is one covidiot to wreck havoc on someone’s semester, career etc. And this is the exception where I refuse to take accountability and responsibility for something that is completely out of my control.

In the meantime, my family and I are doing everything we can to stay healthy during these unprecedented times. People often tell me that they feel unsafe and overwhelmed that others aren’t following the rules. I remind them that we cannot control how other people think, act or behave. Instead of focusing on things that we cannot control, we would be better off focusing on more productive things. There is no reason to fear things like in-store grocery shopping for instance. Back in the day, online shopping did not exist during pandemics and people managed just fine. Do not fear grocery stores and malls – just do your due diligence by wearing a mask, washing your hands, and practicing social distancing. Use common sense and you should be fine.

If you never watched this show, then you missed out on childhood.

So now, I guess we play the waiting game and hope for the best 🤷‍♀️ In the meantime, I will be eagerly waiting for updates regarding school and how to proceed from here. I also plan to update you about my personal life in a future blog post but it is still too early to disclose any details yet. Today I feel like a hot mess as I sip my Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha, but I do not care. There is nowhere else to go. There is nothing else to do except wait and see what the future holds. This time, I am leaving my fate up to the Universe.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Breaking Trust…..Again 💔

Disclaimer: I wrote the rough draft over a week ago as I am still fumbling around with the stupid Block Editor. However, this event does not dismiss the emotional turmoil, exhaustion, and frustration I have regarding what happened last week. Things are still awful and I am as moody as ever, since I am having a hard time coming to terms with things. I am not sure where to go from here or how to remedy the situation. It is hard for me to give you enough context without sharing too much of my private life online.

Sept 7, 2020 @11:55 AM: I am scrolling, scrolling. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I am trying so hard not to cry. No, this cannot be real. This cannot be happening again. We had a promise. A promise of trust so fragile that it shattered yet again. A promise so fleeting that I could feel it escaping through my fingers like sand. I find myself screaming and shaking like someone who is in the midst of a mental breakdown. Then it dawned on me: Maybe I can take the pain away with some painkillers. Tylenol is innocent enough, it wont hurt me… maybe then, my emotional pain will disappear and I won’t have to feel anything. I just want to feel nothing…. 

I wish that I didn’t have to write this depressing post. I wish that yesterday didn’t happen, but it did. I took a more than the recommended dose of Tylenol. My liver may not have been too happy with me but I am fine. I suggest that you try to suppress your pain with medication. It will not take away your emotional pain. To feel any kind of relief, I think I would need to black out which might be accomplished with alcohol. I abstain from alcohol and I don’t take prescription meds, so the strongest thing I have is Tylenol. Once I swallowed 2/3 of a bottle of Advil in one sitting, took a nap, and woke up with an unrelenting headache. I was fine. Nobody found out about it until a few months later, and by then, I was back to my old self, distracted by academia. 

Miku Hatsune, Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

I can relate if you are reading this post and desperately want to numb your emotional pain too. To an extent, I understand the challenges that people face with mental health challenges, and I get that life is not all sunshine and rainbows. You will probably be hurt several times in your lifetime, and those you are closest to will probably end up hurting you most. I am writing this blog post because it’s incredibly painful for me to process what happened yesterday, and I just want to be understood. If you want to read about a similar experience I had a few months ago, you can read that blog post here.

Reflecting on 2020 so far, 2020 has been a weird year for all of us. I have been working on getting my $hit together since the beginning of the year. Did the pandemic disrupt my plans? Yes and no. Sure, I did not get to travel this summer but that is not why I am upset. Like I said in my earlier post, it is hard to stay positive when I am dealing with $hit that is VERY triggering for me. My mental health is fragile and I need to do everything I can to protect my well-being. Reflecting on my previous post , we know that there needs to be mutual trust between 2 or more people, in order for any relationship or team to thrive. 

What is so difficult about being honest? Why do you refuse to change your ways when you know that your behaviour hurts me? I don’t care if being honest is more painful than covering up the truth with a bunch of lies. What hurts the most is having the nerve to lie to my face without blinking an eyelash. Even when I question your behaviour, you respond with a lie. You are emotionally unavailable and uninvested in what we were working so hard to build. A relationship is built on 3 things: communication, trust, and affection (may be intimate or non-intimate). 

Liar, Liar 🔥

This is what I want to know: Have you ever told a lie, and did it end well for you? Because it did not end well for me. When someone tells a lie, they end up hurting the people around them. Even if they get away with their lie today, it will eventually catch up to them. Some of the best liars are known to be sociopaths and psychopaths because they are constantly forced to cover up their lies and believe their own BS. Also, they are known to have incredible memory recall. Imagine yourself telling a bunch lies and then having to remember those lies today, tomorrow, a month from now, and even years from now. The psychopath or sociopath might get away with it, but the rest of us will eventually caught. The person who hurt me certainly did get caught and I am still PO’d.

Do you believe that it is ever OK to lie to someone, or continue to lie to someone for whatever reason? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ I really enjoy reading your comments! ❤️

Thanks for stopping by!

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Something Needs to Change

XOn3CljIt’s rare for me to upload more than one blog post in a single week, but I haven’t been feeling super talkative lately. Usually, you can’t get me to shut up, but my mood has been $hit lately. If you read my previous blog post, My 10 Favourite Feelings Tag, you may have thought that I am as happy as a clam. At least, I was feeling happy until yesterday. And as much as I want to complain and vent about everything that is wrong in my life right now, I rather not ruin your mood too. Being pessimistic is like a disease and all it takes is one pessimistic person to infect us all 😷 The stuff that I am dealing with is very personal and bothersome, and this topic is not open for discussion. Please do not ask me to elaborate in the comments section below ↓ or try to convince me that things will get better with time. Well yeah, things usually do get better eventually. This thing has been bothering me for a few years now and it’s incredibly frustrating. I though that I would have made some progress by now, but instead, I haven’t made much progress at all. Like a hamster running in a wheel, but never reaching its destination. ‘Stuck’ is how I would describe my life right now.

Stuck in the middle

Lately, I have been thinking about revamping this blog. I have yet to figure out how to turn secondary pages into blog posts. I feel like the majority of my readers end up missing most of my poetry and recipes because these sections are categorized under pages rather than blog posts. I want my current pages to show up on the home page, but at the same time, I want them to show up as previews under the parent pages. I currently use the free version, so I am not blessed with plugins and unlimited features. It’s just the basics.

Does anyone know if there is a way to add blog posts to pages so that you can see blog post previews on the pages themselves? Is there a way to categorizes blog posts on these pages? Am I making any sense?

Over the next few months, I am going to transfer my secondary pages to blog posts so that they will actually show up in the WP reader, which is where most of my traffic comes from. When I first started blogging in 2016, having secondary pages made the most sense because it allowed for visitors, mainly people who were not WP bloggers, to easily navigate my blog. However, I want to expand my recipes, poetry, and student life ツ sections, so having secondary pages isn’t the best option anymore.

Secondary pages, sometimes referred to as daughter pages, will appear under their parent pages. These secondary pages are different than blog posts.

For those of you who have been following me for a while, did you know that these pages even existed on my blog? If you answered no, then this is why something needs to change.

Thanks for stopping by!

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700 Followers: A New Milestone!

(っ◔◡◔)っ700 Followers! Like my toddler always says, Whaattt?!?! ♥

I try to publish a new blog post every Monday during the summer break. It’s not Monday yet, but I wanted to share some exciting news with you and this announcement cannot wait any longer. As you have already guessed from reading the title, this blog has reached 700 followers! If all of you were to attend a lecture at the University of Guelph, the biggest lecture hall has 606 seats. Sorry, I guess some of you will have to stand. Feet off the tables, please.

Honestly, I did not expect to gain 700 wonderful followers, and yet, here we are. I believe that this blog has a lot of potential and I am already envisioning it reaching 1,000 followers this year. I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart, for spreading the love and helping to keep this blog alive! ❤

Stay hungry, Stay Focused!

what-you-stay-focused-on-will-grow_roy-t-benett_the-light-in-the-heart

What are you focusing on?

I believe that bloggers, especially those who are new to the WP community, are eager to gain followers which is a great goal. I mean, who doesn’t want followers, handfuls of comments, and daily traffic? When I first started blogging, I felt like I was talking to a wall. I rarely got comments, and if I did, it was usually spam. Lots of things have changed within a year, but most of these changes resulted from observing others, learning what not to do, and taking notes. Even though this blog is already 4 years, it sat dormant until April 2019. In other words, this blog gained approx. 680 followers in 15 months!

There is one blogger in particular who helped jump-start my blog. Even though Ilona was a fairly new blogger, the WP community seemed to naturally gravitate towards her blog because she had friendly, non-judgmental vibes. At one point, Ilona and I became international pen pals! 💌 Sadly, I haven’t heard back from her since November 2019 and I miss her terribly. It was recently brought to my attention that she permanently deleted her [second] blog which is really unfortunate. I hope she knows that she is deeply missed by the blogging community.🌹🥀

“You’re only here for a short visit. Don’t hurry, don’t worry. And be sure to smell the flowers along the way.” —Walter Hagen

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You Win Some, You Lose Some

Regardless of what happens throughout my blogging journey, I remind myself that I will gain some followers and lose some followers along the way. I consider myself to be a creative person but I am terrible at networking as well as collaborating with people. Also, I am the perfect candidate for transient ischemic attacks (TIAs) which are triggered by stressful events, and I have already had 2 major TIAs in my lifetime. Statistics state that 1/3 of people who experience TIAs will also experience a stroke in their lifetime. This is not a sob story; this is simply why I try to avoid taking on extra commitments. Just breathe, mes amis. 🧘‍♀️🌱

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how you achieve your goals as long as you are constantly working on becoming a better version of yourself. I believe that nobody is entitled to success, but everyone has the potential to succeed with hard work, grit, and perseverance. Stay calm, and never give up on your dreams! ❤

Thanks for stopping by!

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