No Spend Challenge | I Messed Up

I think I just screwed up the No Spend Challenge. I did not think it was possible to royally screw it up until January 8, 2021. One thing I learned about myself is how easily I call it quits as soon as I make a mistake 🤦‍♀️ And just like that, on January 9, 2021, the No Spend Challenge went out the window. Like I said in my previous blog post, No Spend Challenge | January 2021, I have an All or Nothing personality which can really hinder progress and prevent me from implementing lasting habits. I know I can do better and I plan to pick up where I left off… today, anyways.

Below is the PDF sheet that I printed off and taped to my wall. Whenever I have a good day, I get a sticker. I know it sounds silly but it keeps me motivated since I like to keep the positive streak going. I am also keeping a tally at the bottom of the sheet which indicates the number of days that I cheated or unintentionally spent money:

This is how I am keeping track of No Spend January.

Hilary, How Could You?!

This No Spend Challenge was going well until I received a disturbing email on Friday, January 8, 2021. This company had no problem telling me that they charged my credit card for a another yearly subscription of $30.00 USD. In all honestly, I completely forgot that my subscription was about to expire and assumed that I already unsubscribed from this service. I know that this is my fault and nobody else’s, but I wish they had sent me an email alerting me that my subscription was about to expire. Personally, I think that auto-ship and subscription services are dangerous when forgotten about, and I honestly do not know how all of you manage to keep track of your subscriptions. I will not mention the name of this company out of all due respect. Don’t get me wrong – this subscription service is pretty good, except that I no longer need or use this service. *Sigh* I tell myself that I am more forgetful than usual due to my pregnancy brain. Update: Rebecca is getting a baby brother in May. We are Team Blue! 💙

Calling It Quits 🙅‍♀️

I felt guilty. I felt shame. I was angry at myself because I was the one to blame. I was upset because I broke the promise I made at the beginning of January 2021. So, what did Hilary do to make up for this screw-up? She dug a deeper hole on Saturday. SHE SPENT MORE MONEY! 💲💲💲

I ended up spending money on sour watermelon slices, sour neon gummy worms, and OMGs ($13), postage for the US and international stamps ($17 + $8.20). and a few other miscellaneous items that I certainly did not need ($15). Even though I continued to avoid Dollarama like the plague, as mentioned in my previous post, I ended up spending more money by avoiding Dollarama, so avoidance was clearly a dumb decision. At least I learned from these mistakes; however, I still messed up the No Spend Challenge, nonetheless. Like I tell my fellow blogging friends, I do not expect anyone to have a perfect month, and this includes myself. Like you, I am human and I make mistakes. Like you, I need to start practicing self-love and forgiveness. It is okay to mess up, and the important thing is that we pick up where we left off. 🙏💕

Thanks for stopping by!

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No Spend Challenge | January 2021

Can you picture yourself not spending money during the month of January? I was inspired by Happy Simple Mom to embark on this journey one year ago and I haven’t looked back. I did the challenge last year and felt much better after putting a temporary ban on buying non-essential items; thus, I was able to detox from the Christmas debt hangover. Is this extreme? Maybe a little, but I assure you that this challenge is totally doable. In fact, you might actually enjoy it. Chances are, you probably already have a lot of stuff laying around your house for future DIY projects (Pinterest, anyone?). And if you are like me, chances are you probably forgot about most of the stuff that you already own.

Below is a list of 10 non-essential items that I will not be buying this month. I do not encourage you to ban essential items like groceries, gas, phone bills etc. because these things essential for a reason. Non-essential items include extra things that you can learn to live without, and this list will vary from person to person. Remember, what you choose to give up for January is entirely up to you! 🙌

January No Spend Challenge

Here is a list of some of 10 things that I am not buying throughout the month of January 2021! 💰

1. Coffee and Steeped Tea I love coffee from MCDs and Steeped Tea from Tim Horton’s. Even though I can make MCDs coffee at home, I crave their coffee when I am running errands. I also crave Steeped Tea from Tim Horton’s which is a bit trickier since I cannot replicate it at home. I have tried numerous times to replicate it but I have not found a good replacement for store-bought Steeped Tea. I am able to justify buying Steeped Tea in-store by using gift cards and Tim’s Rewards (buy 7, get one free).

In 2020, I used my Swagbucks Rewards to purchase $75 worth of Tim Cards. If reward programs like Swagbucks appeals to you and you are interested in signing up, my referral link is https://www.swagbucks.com/profile/hellokitty8404. It is free to sign up using my referral link and you will be helping me out too. It’s similar to “Buy Me A Coffee!” but doesn’t cost you anything! ☕💕

2. Junk Food I have been a junk food addict for as long as I can remember. I could live off of junk food instead of real food but my guilty conscience does not allow me to succumb to poor lifestyle choices. However, I do consume a concerning amount of junk food on a weekly basis, specifically sugary treats like candy and chocolate. There is nothing wrong with junk food in moderation, but I admit that moderation is not a word in my vocabulary 😂 For this reason, I will be making my own treats in the New Year. In the past, I have made DIY honey-lemon candy, protein gummy candy, air-fried BBQ chips, kale chips, Dalgona coffee, and chocolate mug cake.

Dalgona coffee is the classic 2020 quarantine beverage! ☕

3. Ordering Takeout We told ourselves that we would only eat out twice a month, but we do not keep track of our spending. I feel like we were eating out at least 4 times per month, not including the Tim Hortons runs. I realize that we eat out way too much, so during the month of January, we plan to cook our meals at home. Often, I find myself giving into hanger when I am running errands, my husband wants to celebrate a special occasion, our daughter is hangry too etc. Next time, I will pack snacks when we travel, even if we are just running errands.

4. Eating at Restaurants We eat out at restaurants once a month because we spend more on takeout, and this goes hand in hand with point #3. Still, there is no reason to eat out if we can learn how to create our favourite dishes at home. There is no need for physical cookbooks since I can [usually] find what I need on the internet.

5. Online Shopping I pride myself for having self-control when it comes to online shopping. I keep online shopping to a minimum and only use a couple of sites, at most. There are some products which I can only buy online, such as Natural Calm – Calmful Sleep Natural Sleep Aid (powder) which you can purchase at an unbeatable price here. Now that my shipment has finally arrived, I do not need to buy anything else for a while. Oh yeah, and I avoid Amazon because of bad experiences/scams from questionable sellers.

6. Dollarama This goes hand and hand with #2 and #7 because two of my biggest culprits when shopping at Dollarama are junk food and stationary. Dollarama has good quality stationary and I cannot fathom why anyone would spend full price on greeting cards. The prices at Dollarama range from $1-$4 per item and the quality is decent, unlike other dollar stores I have shopped at. I shop there 2-3 times per week and usually spend $20.00+ per shopping trip. It is a problem that needs to be nipped in the bud.

It is addictive and it is hard to stop 😆

7. Stationary Where do I even begin with this one? I ❤ stationary! I love sending mail as much as I love receiving mail. Snail mail seems to be a dying art, and I usually give up when so-called pen-pals don’t reciprocate at all. I know I set my expectations too high and need to work on that. I also have an all-or-nothing personality, so this year I ended up mailing zero Christmas cards. That being said, I still have a problem when it comes to buying stationary and I get carried away sometimes. Therefore, I am putting a ban on stationary and will use up what I have before I buy more. 💌

I got a little too carried away one Christmas and realized that all of this effort wasn’t worth it in the end 💔

7. Skin Care Products Not only did I find some great deals during Boxing week, which you can read in my previous blog post, my mom also mailed me a bunch of skin care products from around the world for Christmas 2020. I definitely have an abundance of skin care products not limited to: face wash/cleanser from Japan, mini shower gel(s), a family-sized shower gel imported from Greece, body butters, body creams imported from Greece, hair care products from Korea, pain relief analgesics by Kalaya, and body yogurts. There is absolutely no reason for me to buy more skin care products unless I run out of something, which is highly unlikely.

8. Alcohol We are not big drinkers, so alcohol has never been an issue for me. Also, I am 19 weeks pregnant so I am not drinking alcohol anyways. I find it incredibly irresponsible for pregnant mothers to drink, fully knowing that they are harming their unborn child. For pregnant women who want something a bit classier than sparkling water this holiday season, there is a non-alcoholic beverage on the market known as sparkling fruit juice and it tastes delicious. I like how this beverage even comes in wine bottles which closely resembles champagne. This drink is a treat and not an every day indulgence. Cheers! 🥂

9. Miscellaneous Gifts I often spend money on others before I spend money on myself, and I like to buy “just because” gifts for my husband and daughter. I feel like this is my way of telling them that they are important to me. I know what my husband’s favourite candy and snacks are, for instance. He is aware that I am doing this January No Spend Challenge, and I am pretty sure that my daughter won’t notice. A friend of mine has an upcoming birthday, and because she lives in a different province, I want to send her something by mail. This might end up being an exception to the rule as I have no way of sending homemade gifts without paying ridiculously high shipping costs.


Finally, I encourage you to try this challenge during the month of January to kickstart the new year! I also encourage you to track your spending habits using a budgeting app or free PDF tracker so that you are able to see the progress that you are making. The results may surprise you! 🙂

If you need some extra encouragement this month, feel free to message me on my Contact Info Page. Please note that I mostly use email and WhatsApp. Also, feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ and I will do my best to reply to your comments! ❤

Happy New Year! 🥳🥂

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One Good Thing: Boxing Week Deals

I originally got the idea from blogger Becky who runs a blog called Strikeouts + Sprinkles. She has a weekly blog series called One Good Thing although I only plan on making this blog post a one-time thing. She made me realize that I tend to view life from a negative perspective, and therefore, I need to be more mindful about focusing on the positive things in my life. You might be wondering how the above photo fits the theme of this blog post; this is a photo of my car covered in snow from last week’s snowfall. Normally, such an event would discourage me from leaving the house, but luckily, my husband volunteered to rescue my poor car. Had he not forced me to get out of the house, I would have stayed indoors all weekend feeling sorry for myself.


Ruthless Frugality

Six years ago, I embarked on the frugal journey while working on personal development and honestly, I prefer this lifestyle compared to the typical consumerist culture that has plagued the western world. Every year, I look forward to the semi-annual sales because I can save money on items that I already use on a regular basis. This week, I am grateful for the boxing week sales and still having access to in-store shopping in my province. This weekend, I was able to buy what I needed for the New Year. These items will easily last me an entire year! 😊

Disclaimer: This is not a humble-brag blog post similar to the ones I have seen littering the WP Reader lately. The purpose of this blog post is to give readers hope and empower them to think about how they can save money and live life more intentionally. I challenge you to think about the things are most important to you, and learn how embrace discomfort in the year 2021. Most importantly, you need to learn how to let go of the things that do not matter and completely let go of the things that give you zero return in your life.

Buy All The Things!

Even though I am not currently employed, hopefully I will be starting a new job(s) in the New Year. It costs money to live, but I do not like spending full price on things if it can be avoided. Please note that there is a clear difference between being cheap and being frugal, and if you need more context, please google it instead of asking me. Also, if you want to learn more about frugality, you can read my blog post called 7 Ways to Stop Wasting Money under the page titled STUDENT LIFE ツ

Today, I will share with you what I bought during boxing day weekend. I purchased all of these items myself after making a list and checking it twice prior to going out. None of these items were gifted to me. Let’s face it – most bloggers would love to receive gifted items from sponsors and advertisers but this is not reality for the majority of people. Most of us are stuck buying our own shit stuff. Here is what I bought:

1. The Body Shop: Body Butter and Shower Gel

I bought 3 sets of body butters and shower gels from the Body Shop, priced $5 each ($15 for all 3). One travel size butter butter costs $6 regular price so this was a great deal. It takes me a very long time to use body butter so travel sizes are perfect for me. I have yet to try these scents: British Rose, Almond Milk & Honey, and Mango. The shower gels are bonuses! Every year, I also get a $10 gift card on my birthday just for signing up with The Body Shop!

2. The Body Shop: 2 Body Yogurts

One body yogurt costs $16 CAD regular price. At sale price, they usually sell for $10 each. Using the birthday gift card, I scored a free body yogurt 2 years ago not knowing if I would even like it. I ended up really liking the texture of body yogurt since it does not leave a sticky or greasy residue on my skin. I recommend body yogurt to anyone who is tactile sensitive like me. For this body yogurt duo, I only paid $12 CAD! This is what I call a discounted-discount item. I am happy that I waited until after Christmas to buy it as I have been wanting to try British Rose and Almond Milk Body Yogurt for a while.

3. Posh Planner from Costco & Backup Planner

Not everything goes as planned which is why I ended up with 2 planners for the year 2021. Ironically, I ended up with the same planners last year! I initially bought the planner on the right costing me a pretty penny ($4) from Dollarama. The planner itself is OK but the pages are really thin. Then I went to Costco for a non-alcoholic sparkling juice beverage, and to my surprise, this Costco had the Posh Deluxe Organizer! I love this 17-month, habit-tracking planner; Posh Deluxe Organizers are the best, hands-down. I loved my 2020 Posh Planner but I am not a fan of the price. It costs $14.99 CAD at Costco; if you go anywhere else including amazon.ca to get this planner, it will cost you $29.99+ so consider your options.

Where will 2021 take you? Thank you for taking the time to read this blog post. I hope that you feel inspired to live a more intentional life next year. By habit tracking, I believe that we can stop wasting money once and for all. Feel free to leave a comment below ↓ and I will do my best to reply to your comments! ❤

Thanks for stopping by!

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Would You Rather? Christmas Edition

I find Christmas-themed blog posts a bit overdone. Everyone and their moms seem to be doing Blogmas this year. You will not find me participating in Blogmas or other holiday-themed blog challenges. Ever. They’re just not my cup of tea. Why? I feel like I shouldn’t feel the need or pressure to publish a daily blog post for the sake of publishing something. I care more about high-quality blog posts than I do about quantity. Nobody should ever feel pressure to write, because I can assure you, that is when blogging stops being fun.

Recently, I saw this particular blog post floating around the WP sphere. Apparently, this specific Would You Rather? quiz originated on Pinterest. Who knew?! Normally, I give credit to the person who gave me the idea, but who started this thread? Was it a blogger or was it someone on Pinterest? This inspiration came from various sources and you are all welcome to participate you want to join in! ⭐

Would You Rather⁉

  1. Have to sing Jingle Bells loudly every time you walk into a room or wear a Santa suit to work every day for a week? My workplace consists of lounging at home and I basically live in pajamas. I am not a loud person so you will not find me singing songs on a whim. If I had to choose, I would pick the Santa Suit even though I do not like whimsical Santa Clauses and snowmen. A Santa Suit counts as pajamas, right?

  1. Not celebrate Christmas this year or not celebrate your birthday this year? We are not party-animals so I seldom celebrate my birthday. And if I do celebrate it, then it is pretty low-key and chill. Christmas on the other hand, is kind of a big deal to people. Sadly, we will not be visiting my parents or in-laws this year but it is still nice to relax on Christmas day, nonetheless. This year, I plan to spend Christmas at home with my husband and daughter.
  1. Have Frosty the Snowman as a friend or Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer? Like I stated before, I usually do not care for fictional snowmen, whether they are found on mugs, plates, socks, cards, characters like Frosty the Snowman, or Olaf from Frozen I & II. If I had to pick Frosty or Rudolph, it would have to be Rudolph. Honestly, I find these fictional stories childish and overrated so Rudolph and I probably wouldn’t be like Anna and Olaf.

  1. Have mistletoe hanging in your bedroom doorway or have a large decorated Christmas tree in your bedroom doorway? How would a Christmas Tree fit in my bedroom doorway? Are we talking about a miniature Christmas Tree? Because that might work. Even though I appreciate a nicely decorated Christmas Tree, I would choose the mistletoe because of its minimalistic design and its anti-clutter approach when it comes to interior decorating.

  1. Write a five paragraph essay about the meaning of Christmas or solve a page of Christmas themed math problems? As much as I enjoy writing, I would not want to write a 5-paragraph essay about the meaning of Christmas because 1) Nobody including myself would want to read it and 2) How boring! 😴 Oh, how grinchy of me! I mean, there are better topics to write about, and being passionate about what you are writing is the true meaning of blogging. I much rather solve the math problems, even though I suck at math as an adult. As a kid, math was actually one of my stronger subjects.

  1. Have a job wrapping presents at the mall or have a job taking photographs of children sitting on Santa’s lap at the mall? I LOVE wrapping presents so presents all the way! I have been wrapping presents since I was 4 years old and volunteered to wrap relatives’ presents too. Wrapping presents is one of the few things that I actually find enjoyable and quite therapeutic. This year, I do not have any presents to wrap. 🙇‍♀️
I cannot take credit for wrapping this present. My mom wrapped it for Christmas 2019!
  1. See the Nut Cracker or dance in the Nut Cracker? I cannot dance to save my life so I would choose to see the Nut Cracker. However, it would be cool if I was a ballerina dancing in the Nut Cracker in a past life.

  1. Be given $100 for Christmas to spend on yourself or be given $1K before Christmas to buy presents for other people? $100 does not get you much in Canada. If I needed $100 quickly, I could sell unwanted items on Kijiji or Facebook Marketplace. I much rather spend money on other people so I would choose the $1K to spend on other people. Giving gifts to people and seeing their faces light up is very gratifying.

  1. Have a nose the glows like Rudolph’s or have pointy ears like an elf? Like I said before, red noses and Rudolph in general is too overrated for me. Elves however, have the potential to be “cool.” Besides, aren’t elf ears considered kawaii these days? Hasn’t there been a recent craze of e-girls and elf ears taking over the internet lately, or is it just me? Elf Girl Makeup Tutorial Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPgU-GblHYM

  1. Be one of Santa’s elves or one of Santa’s reindeer? Isn’t this the same question as #9 only worded differently? Duh, I would be one of Santa’s free spirited elves. Let’s keep Christmas classy this year, rather than tacky (or trashy). 🧝‍♀️🎄

Thanks for stopping by!

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10 Things You Might Not Know About Me

Let’s face it. Most of us are nosy people. At some point, I am guessing that you were probably curious about my life. I consider myself to be a fairly private person for the most part. Tiani Angela, who runs a blog called tianiangela.com, inspired me to write this vulnerable blog post. You can read her original blog post here. Like Tiani’s blog post, my blog post is extra-personal as well. Please read without judgement and keep and open mind. Thanks. 😊

10 Interesting Facts About Me

1. I am an only child. And I am not happy about it. I was never happy about it. I always felt like I was meant to have a sibling and being an only child felt “wrong” to me. When I was 18, I learned that I was a double-rainbow baby which explains a lot 🌈🌈 When I was 12, I asked my parents to adopt an orphan from China and sadly, they said no. I think that is where my fascination for Asian culture started.

2. I married an Asian boy. The fascination for Asian culture continued into my adult years. Although I have long graduated from reading manga and seldom watch anime these days, my husband has taught me a lot about his Asian roots, specifically Singaporean roots. I met him in January 2013 and we have been together ever since. He is my rock and we have been married since May 2016.

Celebrating Mother’s Day. with the hubby. You can’t go wrong with a cake from Costco!

3. I am mother to a Eurasian toddler. Most of you already know that I am a mom since it’s in my About Me section, yet people often seemed surprised when I tell them. I am a Millennial in my late twenties so I am not that young anymore. I try to follow other bloggers who are also in their 20’s+ but a few younger bloggers have slipped through the cracks. My daughter is a rambunctious 4-year old who loves life. Her favourite thing to say is, “Mommy, be happy.”

4. I had a miscarriage in October, 2015. My daughter was planned and she is a rainbow baby. Prior to having my daughter, I had a miscarriage and it was devastating. I feel like miscarriage is a topic that often gets swept under the rug even though 1:4 women end up having a miscarriage in their lifetime. Miscarriage is more common than people think and it shouldn’t be ignored. For anyone who has had a miscarriage, I want you to know that you are not alone. 👼

5. Given the choice, I would be a fruitarian. I ❤ Fruit! I find the fruitarian lifestyle intriguing and it would be my diet of choice if boundaries did not exist. However, I have a background in nutrition and neutraceutical sciences (NANS) from the University of Guelph, so I know that a fruitarian diet is not the answer to long-term health and longevity.

6. My pupils are different sizes. And this is concerning to neurologists. Ironically, my first clinical placement this semester was on an acute neurosurgery/neurology unit. I cannot tell you how concerned some of the staff was when I told them that I was born this way. When pupils are two different sizes, this usually indicates some kind of brain lesion or altered level of consciousness (LOC).

7. Also related to eyes, I am a carrier of Familial Exudative Vitreoretinopathy (FEVR). Even though I am asymptomatic, my daughter is one of the unlucky few who is symptomatic. She was born blind in her left eye as a result of FEVR. According to the American Academy of Ophthalmology, FEVR defines a group of inherited diseases with abnormal retinal angiogenesis leading to incomplete vascularization of the peripheral retina. Every 3-6 months, my daughter gets routine surgery and receives laser surgery if necessary. Laser surgery is dependent on the progression of this eye disease. If she does not receive routine checkups, there is a risk that she could become blind in both eyes because the disease typically affects the eyes bilaterally.

Despite FEVR, she is a happy child 🌞

8. I was anorexic when I was 13 years old. I hate it when people try to glamorize anorexia to get attention or pretend they have an eating disorder when in fact they don’t. You’ll often notice this in the blogging sphere and social media and it’s is one of my pet peeves. I can tell you that anorexia is NOT glamorous. It is an eating disorder (ED) that the individual cannot control. These individuals know that it is wrong; they have insight but they lack judgement. I wish I had pictures and clothes to show you what I looked like at 98 lbs. but I don’t have any “memorabilia”. My parents threw out those memories without my permission. 

9. I attended 3 different universities. I am not making this up, unlike some people I know. I attended University of Guelph from 2010-2014 and obtained a degree in biological sciences. I also minored in nutrition and neutraceutical sciences (NANS). Sadly, I realized that I would not be able to truly thrive with this degree so I took some courses through Athabasca University, an accredited online university in Canada. Now, I am nursing student who is living in Alberta and I plan to graduate by the end of the year. It’s been a long journey and I am really, really tired of school. 

10. I own a 210ish year old violin. Or something like that. I lost track of its exact age; my violin is ancient. It’s been passed down in the family and got sold at one point. Fortunately, my dad was very lucky and managed to rescue the violin for me, which I received as a birthday gift. I named my violin Matilda the III and she has a very rich, pure sound. I haven’t played her in years since she doesn’t live with me, but I love the way she sounds. 

Well, there you have it! Did anything in my list surprise you? If so, what did you find most surprising? Do you know me as well as you thought you did? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ If you decide to write a similar blog post, please let me know so I can check it out. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by!

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I Was a Fool (For Snow)

In response to Vee’s recent blog post, So Much Snow, I ended up writing a parody of the song, I Was a Fool by Tegan and Sara. I encourage you to grab a hot beverage and stay awhile ☕💕 If you enjoyed this parody, feel free to check out my other poetry musings here. Also, I highly encourage you to check out Vee’s blog #MILLENIALLIFECRISIS if you haven’t already done so. Her blog is as real as it gets! Thanks for reading! ✨

[Verse 1]
Do you remember you searched me out?
How you climbed my city’s walls?
Do you remember it’s October?
Winter now echoes my calls

[Pre-Hook]
Now I’m chilled to the bone
Froze to death is all I did

[Hook]
You stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool
I was a fool

[Verse 2]
You keep showing up in my world
When will you leave me alone?
Then you decide to linger near me
You refuse to go away

[Pre-Hook]
Now (now) I’m (I’m) chilled to the bone
(chilled to the bone)
Froze (froze) to (to) death is all I did
(is all I did)

[Hook]
You still stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)

[Bridge]
I never liked you so please go away
It’s too early for these winter days
You best be looking for another place
Without me in that space, within that space

[Pre-Hook]
Now (now) I’m (I’m) chilled to the bone
(chilled to the bone)
Froze (froze) to (to) death is all I did
(is all I did)

[Hook]
You still stuck around
You didn’t leave
You’d taunt me every time
I was a fool for snow (I was a fool)
I was a fool for snow
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)
I was a fool (I was a fool for snow)

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Whatever This Is

“Whatever this is, wherever this takes me, I will find my own way, one step at a time.” —nonsensical quote by Me, Myself, and I

COVID-19 has long extended its stay and it is starting to affect my life in a negative way. First, here is a quick update as to why I disappeared from the blogging sphere. I went back to school in mid September and I have been busy with 13hr-clinical shifts at the hospital. Days when I am not there, I am at home catching up on sleep. Things were going smoothly up until last week, when I was told to isolate for 14+ days as the unit is officially on coronavirus watch. I do not know what this entails except that I have been out of school for almost a week now with no return date in sight.

I do not like leaving my fate in someone else’s hands. 2019 and 2020 taught me to take control of my own life, where I started taking accountability and responsibility for all of my actions and fuck-ups. In this case, however, I am challenged by uncertainty and I do not like that. Skipping school, regardless of whether they are day shifts or graveyard shifts, feels wrong to me. Also, nobody else seems bothered by the fact that I am supposed to be at clinical right now, and yet here in my pajamas, frittering my life away. Am I taking life too seriously? Is my neurosis out of control? I am halfway through final semester and yet my hands are tied behind my back. I cannot move, as if I am a chess piece being cornered by the most obnoxious opponent ever. I am looking at you, COVID-19. And I do not want to play this game anymore.

The cat doesn’t even know what to do with himself.

We Are All Fine. Except We Aren’t Fine.

Is this depression? No, I know what depression feels like. Honestly, I do not know how to describe this empty feeling that I have been dealing with lately. I am sure that many of you have also been negatively impacted by the pandemic, whether it is directly or indirectly. Tell me, how are you coping with the pandemic? Are you fine? Because I am not fine. I think it is time that we stop convincing ourselves that this way of life is supposed to our new “normal.” Because this is NOT a normal way to live, people. All it takes is one covidiot to wreck havoc on someone’s semester, career etc. And this is the exception where I refuse to take accountability and responsibility for something that is completely out of my control.

In the meantime, my family and I are doing everything we can to stay healthy during these unprecedented times. People often tell me that they feel unsafe and overwhelmed that others aren’t following the rules. I remind them that we cannot control how other people think, act or behave. Instead of focusing on things that we cannot control, we would be better off focusing on more productive things. There is no reason to fear things like in-store grocery shopping for instance. Back in the day, online shopping did not exist during pandemics and people managed just fine. Do not fear grocery stores and malls – just do your due diligence by wearing a mask, washing your hands, and practicing social distancing. Use common sense and you should be fine.

If you never watched this show, then you missed out on childhood.

So now, I guess we play the waiting game and hope for the best 🤷‍♀️ In the meantime, I will be eagerly waiting for updates regarding school and how to proceed from here. I also plan to update you about my personal life in a future blog post but it is still too early to disclose any details yet. Today I feel like a hot mess as I sip my Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha, but I do not care. There is nowhere else to go. There is nothing else to do except wait and see what the future holds. This time, I am leaving my fate up to the Universe.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Breaking Trust…..Again 💔

Disclaimer: I wrote the rough draft over a week ago as I am still fumbling around with the stupid Block Editor. However, this event does not dismiss the emotional turmoil, exhaustion, and frustration I have regarding what happened last week. Things are still awful and I am as moody as ever, since I am having a hard time coming to terms with things. I am not sure where to go from here or how to remedy the situation. It is hard for me to give you enough context without sharing too much of my private life online.

Sept 7, 2020 @11:55 AM: I am scrolling, scrolling. I can feel the tears welling up in my eyes. I am trying so hard not to cry. No, this cannot be real. This cannot be happening again. We had a promise. A promise of trust so fragile that it shattered yet again. A promise so fleeting that I could feel it escaping through my fingers like sand. I find myself screaming and shaking like someone who is in the midst of a mental breakdown. Then it dawned on me: Maybe I can take the pain away with some painkillers. Tylenol is innocent enough, it wont hurt me… maybe then, my emotional pain will disappear and I won’t have to feel anything. I just want to feel nothing…. 

I wish that I didn’t have to write this depressing post. I wish that yesterday didn’t happen, but it did. I took a more than the recommended dose of Tylenol. My liver may not have been too happy with me but I am fine. I suggest that you try to suppress your pain with medication. It will not take away your emotional pain. To feel any kind of relief, I think I would need to black out which might be accomplished with alcohol. I abstain from alcohol and I don’t take prescription meds, so the strongest thing I have is Tylenol. Once I swallowed 2/3 of a bottle of Advil in one sitting, took a nap, and woke up with an unrelenting headache. I was fine. Nobody found out about it until a few months later, and by then, I was back to my old self, distracted by academia. 

Miku Hatsune, Source: https://weheartit.com/entry/253679447

I can relate if you are reading this post and desperately want to numb your emotional pain too. To an extent, I understand the challenges that people face with mental health challenges, and I get that life is not all sunshine and rainbows. You will probably be hurt several times in your lifetime, and those you are closest to will probably end up hurting you most. I am writing this blog post because it’s incredibly painful for me to process what happened yesterday, and I just want to be understood. If you want to read about a similar experience I had a few months ago, you can read that blog post here.

Reflecting on 2020 so far, 2020 has been a weird year for all of us. I have been working on getting my $hit together since the beginning of the year. Did the pandemic disrupt my plans? Yes and no. Sure, I did not get to travel this summer but that is not why I am upset. Like I said in my earlier post, it is hard to stay positive when I am dealing with $hit that is VERY triggering for me. My mental health is fragile and I need to do everything I can to protect my well-being. Reflecting on my previous post , we know that there needs to be mutual trust between 2 or more people, in order for any relationship or team to thrive. 

What is so difficult about being honest? Why do you refuse to change your ways when you know that your behaviour hurts me? I don’t care if being honest is more painful than covering up the truth with a bunch of lies. What hurts the most is having the nerve to lie to my face without blinking an eyelash. Even when I question your behaviour, you respond with a lie. You are emotionally unavailable and uninvested in what we were working so hard to build. A relationship is built on 3 things: communication, trust, and affection (may be intimate or non-intimate). 

Liar, Liar 🔥

This is what I want to know: Have you ever told a lie, and did it end well for you? Because it did not end well for me. When someone tells a lie, they end up hurting the people around them. Even if they get away with their lie today, it will eventually catch up to them. Some of the best liars are known to be sociopaths and psychopaths because they are constantly forced to cover up their lies and believe their own BS. Also, they are known to have incredible memory recall. Imagine yourself telling a bunch lies and then having to remember those lies today, tomorrow, a month from now, and even years from now. The psychopath or sociopath might get away with it, but the rest of us will eventually caught. The person who hurt me certainly did get caught and I am still PO’d.

Do you believe that it is ever OK to lie to someone, or continue to lie to someone for whatever reason? Please join the conversation and leave a comment below ↓ I really enjoy reading your comments! ❤️

Thanks for stopping by!

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Something Needs to Change

XOn3CljIt’s rare for me to upload more than one blog post in a single week, but I haven’t been feeling super talkative lately. Usually, you can’t get me to shut up, but my mood has been $hit lately. If you read my previous blog post, My 10 Favourite Feelings Tag, you may have thought that I am as happy as a clam. At least, I was feeling happy until yesterday. And as much as I want to complain and vent about everything that is wrong in my life right now, I rather not ruin your mood too. Being pessimistic is like a disease and all it takes is one pessimistic person to infect us all 😷 The stuff that I am dealing with is very personal and bothersome, and this topic is not open for discussion. Please do not ask me to elaborate in the comments section below ↓ or try to convince me that things will get better with time. Well yeah, things usually do get better eventually. This thing has been bothering me for a few years now and it’s incredibly frustrating. I though that I would have made some progress by now, but instead, I haven’t made much progress at all. Like a hamster running in a wheel, but never reaching its destination. ‘Stuck’ is how I would describe my life right now.

Stuck in the middle

Lately, I have been thinking about revamping this blog. I have yet to figure out how to turn secondary pages into blog posts. I feel like the majority of my readers end up missing most of my poetry and recipes because these sections are categorized under pages rather than blog posts. I want my current pages to show up on the home page, but at the same time, I want them to show up as previews under the parent pages. I currently use the free version, so I am not blessed with plugins and unlimited features. It’s just the basics.

Does anyone know if there is a way to add blog posts to pages so that you can see blog post previews on the pages themselves? Is there a way to categorizes blog posts on these pages? Am I making any sense?

Over the next few months, I am going to transfer my secondary pages to blog posts so that they will actually show up in the WP reader, which is where most of my traffic comes from. When I first started blogging in 2016, having secondary pages made the most sense because it allowed for visitors, mainly people who were not WP bloggers, to easily navigate my blog. However, I want to expand my recipes, poetry, and student life ツ sections, so having secondary pages isn’t the best option anymore.

Secondary pages, sometimes referred to as daughter pages, will appear under their parent pages. These secondary pages are different than blog posts.

For those of you who have been following me for a while, did you know that these pages even existed on my blog? If you answered no, then this is why something needs to change.

Thanks for stopping by!

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My 10 Favourite Feelings Tag

Pink and Yellow Shapes Birthday Pinterest Graphic (1)I want to thank blogger Pooja for sharing this tag with me! If you aren’t familiar with her blog, then I highly suggest that you check out her creative musings over at Lifesfinewhine. A while ago, I promised her that I would [eventually] complete this tag which dates back to May 27. 2020. Even though I had good intentions and even jotted down a list on my phone’s virtual notepad, the note accidentally got deleted. I am now writing a new list which is in no particular order. Today, I spent some time reflecting on the things/feelings that make me happy. I purposely left out some of the obvious things like spending time with family and friends.


Rules for Award:

  • Thank the person who nominated you.
  • Share your list of 10 Favourite Feelings. 
  • Nominate other bloggers. 

My 10 Favourite Feelings Tag

1. Spending time with my cat. As many of you already know, I really adore my cat. I adopted him last year when I was dealing with major depression that was quite severe. If you need some happiness in your life or feel like your mood is $hit most days, then I highly recommend adopting a cat! Not every cat is friendly though, so take your time choosing the right one. Adopting a cat is a big decision, but it is a decision that you probably won’t regret! ❤🐈

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Morning cuddles with my boy, Timon ❤

2. Connecting with WordPress bloggers, both online and offline! I am very fortunate to have this blog, where I am able connect and chat with other like-minded bloggers. Blogging has been incredibly rewarding and it only keeps getting better. I never imagined that I would end up receiving personal emails, end up receiving snail mail, and even meeting Vee in real life, who is one of my favourite bloggers.

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Before I started blogging, I used to send snail mail to online friends on Facebook. I am still taking a FB hiatus and have no plans to return to that platform any time soon.

3. The smell of the Earth after it rains. Am I crazy, or is there a distinct, earthy smell after it rains? Do you know what smell I am talking about? Because that’s the smell I love! It’s a refreshing feeling after it rains ☂

4. Reaching a destination after walking for what seems like 500 miles. If the destination does not include coffee or tea, then it is a waste of my time 😂 Most of my destinations are food-related. If I didn’t walk to these places, I would probably be obese by now. I choose to walk even though I have a driver’s licence. Personally, I do not like driving a car and I will avoid driving as much as possible.

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This is one of my favourite bubble tea places. Even though I took the Light Rail Transit (LRT), I technically walked there. Since the COVID-19 lockdown, I have not taken the LRT 😷

5. Having fresh-cut flowers in my house 🌻 My mom lives across the country, and she surprised me with a dozen sunflowers for my birthday! Best birthday surprise ever ❤Sunflowers are my favourite flowers and I associate them with the month of August. They’re so sunny and cheerful. What’s not to like about sunflowers? 😍

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Not my birthday sunflowers. This photo was taken at my mom’s house, Summer 2019. Look how big and gorgeous these beauties are! 🌻🌻

6. Sunsets from my balcony. You do not need to go to the beach to enjoy a sunset. In fact, you can view beautiful sunsets from the comfort of your balcony or backyard. Some sunsets are quite stunning. My favourite kind of sunsets are the cotton-candy colored ones 🤗

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This is what I call a cotton-candy sunset ❤

7. Finding $$$ in random places. It might be money laying on the ground (I wish), money in my coat pocket, or finding money in a drawer etc. Finding money I didn’t even know I had is a great feeling! Once I found $200 cash while cleaning the house, which was money I made from Kijiji sales. I had stashed it in an envelope for a rainy day and completely forgot about it! I’m also bad for accidentally leaving money in my coat pockets. Once my mom found a $20 in my coat pocket, so she kept it. It was an old coat that I no longer wanted, but I guess it still had some value.

8. “Kodak” moments. Let me be clear about something: I am aware that I am not photogenic. My dad thinks that I love taking photos of myself but I seldom take photos of myself. Yes, I have a profile picture of myself only because I rather see an actual picture of the face behind the blog, even if that profile pic happens to be filtered. Most of the photos I post on this blog are my own, such as this adorable pic of Rebecca and Timon the cat 💕 I am really beginning to loathe royalty-free pics because every blogger seems to use them nowadays 🙄 #unoriginal

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Photo taken October 16, 2019

9. Donating/selling items. Knowing that my stuff is going to a better home is a very satisfying feeling. Meeting the buyer in person also gives me reassurance that my stuff is actually wanted, especially since I know that they want to buy my stuff. I find it much easier parting with sentimental items if I sell them, compared to donating them. For all I know, donated items could be going straight to the landfill, which I find a bit disturbing.

10. Spousal business travel. I really enjoy taking advantage of my husband’s travel excursions whenever the opportunity arises. Usually, our schedules clash and I have to stay home, but sometimes I am fortunate to join him on his adventures! That being said, I can no longer tag along on his business trips because of the pandemic 😭


My Nominees:

https://popsiclesociety.com/

https://simplychronicallyill.com/

https://renardsworld.wordpress.com/

https://mymartialpath.wordpress.com/

https://inhisserviceandlovingit.wordpress.com/

And….GO!! There is no pressure to respond to this nomination. I am curious to know what your answers are if you decide to participate! Whether or not you were nominated, you are still welcome to join in on the fun!

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My Favorite Quotes: Love and Marriage

I had good intentions to write a blog post last week, but procrastination got the best of me. I write blog posts from my laptop, however, my laptop is having issues. It’s overheating again since the fan no longer works. I tried getting it fixed but the computer experts refused to fix it. Instead, they kept insisting that nothing is wrong with my laptop. I cannot for the life of me write blog posts from my iPhone. I do not understand how bloggers can write and edit blog posts from their smart phones. How does the tiny phone screen not annoy you? It’s very difficult to edit from a phone screen that is not much bigger than a deck of cards. Okay, two decks of cards but you get the point. 👩‍💻

As a continuation from my previous blog post titled, “My Favorite Quotes: Tea Time,” I want to share some of my favourite love and marriage quotes with you. There’s a bunch of em’ and I personally don’t have a favourite quote! Similar to the tea quotes, I wanted a safe place to keep these quotes because #memories but didn’t want to keep the original document. It’s only logical to write a blog post about my favourite love and marriage quotes, right? 👰🤵 Some of you may know (or don’t know) that I married my husband in May 2016 and we have been inseparable since January 2013! ❤

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A rare photo of me on my wedding day. Photo taken May 7, 2016


(っ◔◡◔)っ♥ Love Is In The Air ♥

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♥♥♥

Did any of these quotes resonate with you? I am curious to know which of these love/marriage quotes is your favourite. It does not have to be one from my list. Also, do you believe in true love? What about love at first sight? Are you married or do you plan to get married one day? Feel free to join the conversation by leaving a comment below ↓ I will try my best to respond to your comments this week.

Thanks for stopping by!

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Summer Blog Party! #Twitter-edition

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A Little Birdie Told Me

I admit that I am most creative when I am dealing with insomnia, and last night was one of those nights. For once, I actually remembered my idea and came up with this gem!💎 I am extremely overtired right now, but I will try my best to explain my idea to you. As you may know, I am not active on social media platforms right now. Some people may argue that blogging is a form of social media, so basically I am was only active on WordPress. However, a little birdie told me about the benefits of using Twitter to help increase blog traffic, so I have decided to reopen and update my abandoned Twitter account, which can be found at @hellokitty8404 💕

*Gasp!* Twitter? But why?!? It’s simple. Because I find methods of communication quite limited on WP and email often dwindles after a few exchanged, heart-to-heart messages. Snail mail is even more unreliable. I sent out mail a few weeks ago and I haven’t heard back from my recipients, so I don’t know if they ever received their mail. That being said, I hope to connect specifically with WP bloggers on Twitter. Blog parties are popular in the WP community, and if you haven’t heard of a blog party, then I’m afraid that you have been living under a rock longer than I have! I was looking for the definition of a blog party, and I found the perfect definition from KaylaAnn’s blog, kaylaannauthor.wordpress.com, where she defines a blog party as:

“Generally speaking, a blog party is an online gathering for bloggers of all kinds to meet and engage with one another.” —KaylaAnn

She goes on to define what blog parties are on Twitter, but that’s where she lost me. My idea is a bit simpler. Anyone who has a Twitter handle (aka. @your.account) could share their handles in the comments section below↓ Currently, I am attempting to follow WP bloggers who also have Twitter accounts, as a way to hopefully improve communication and networking opportunities. However, trying to navigate through each and every one of your blogs is not an easy task or the best use of my time.

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“This will be easy!,” said my illogical, insomniac brain.

I Invite You to Join the Party!

I figured that everyone could benefit from a twitter/blog following networking party by joining the #follow-train (a cringe-worthy hashtag) in the comments section below↓ It’s simple and saves us both time! I will keep the comments section open until next Wednesday, August 5, which happens to be the day after my birthday! 🎉🥳 This gives you a week to join the party if you wish to share your Twitter handle with us bloggers! I promise to follow your Twitter account as long as your account has a) up-to-date tweets from 2020, b) your account isn’t a bot account or full of spam, and c) your account/tweets has some relevance to your blog.


Follow the Steps Below ⬇️

Like. Comment. Engage. Spread the Word.

  • LIKE! You are not obligated to like this blog post, but I appreciate the likes, especially if you would like to see more of these blog posts in the future!
  • COMMENT! Tell us your name, leave a short description telling us what your blog is about, and add your Twitter handle (@your.account) so we can follow you. Please do not skip this step or your comment may end up in my spam folder. 
  • ENGAGE: Like KaylaAnn mentioned in her blog post(s), blog parties are not about simply promoting your blog/work, and I completely agree with her statement. There is no party without engagement! I encourage you to visit other blogs and check out their social media accounts too. And follow them if you like their content.
  • SPREAD THE WORD: There is no obligation to re-blog or re-tweet, but I would greatly appreciate it if you did. The more you help spread the message, the more opportunities there will be to meet new bloggers and increase your following as well! ❤

The comments section will remain open from July 28, 2020 – August 5, 2020 at 12 p.m. Mountain Time (MT), so take advantage of this opportunity while you are here, especially if you have a Twitter account. Also, feel free to keep this party going by spreading the word! Remember, our blogs cannot thrive without each other’s support. We are all in this together! ❤

Thanks for stopping by!

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