Weeding Out Toxic Friends Part 2

This post is a continuation of Weeding Out Toxic Friends. If you haven’t read it yet, please read that blog post first.

Update: Since I mailed my letter to Jenna and she should have received it by now, I decided to write to Emma* as well. For their sake, real names won’t be disclosed. Lately, I noticed that I am mourning the loss of these friendships even though these girls hurt me deeply. Writing closure letters is a healthier way to deal with these feelings of grief. Hopefully, Jenna read her letter but I’ll never know for sure since I completely cut ties with her. It is likely that Emma will read her letter but I’m unsure whether she’ll actually feel bad about how she treated me. She’s extremely selfish and lacks any form of emotion and empathy for others.

Emma isn’t exactly the sharpest pencil of the pack, so I decided to dumb my letter down for her. It’s longer than letter #1 because I wrote out definitions and thoroughly explained things so she would understand it. I questioned why I often hung out with Emma because we were in completely different leagues, socially and academically. I’m an intellect – a high achiever, while she spent the majority of high school in special ED homework help class. Someone, please tell me how this counts as credit towards high school graduation?? She failed the grade 10 literacy test twice and the reason why we became friends in the first place. While she was taking literacy class in summer school, I was studying advanced physics to skip a grade. Her parents are teachers so it is puzzling as to why she didn’t receive proper help and guidance outside of school.

Dear Emma,

So we are not exactly “friends” anymore, but I think you have the right to know how I really feel. There was a time when I would have cared enough to send an apology text message begging for forgiveness. Now, I just don’t care enough anymore to say “I’m sorry” because truthfully, I didn’t do anything wrong and here’s why:

I do not appreciate being belittled by you, insulted and talked down to as if I am stupid. In case you don’t know what belittled means, “To belittle, means to put down or to make another person feel as though they aren’t important. Saying mean things about another person literally makes them feel “little.” To belittle someone is cruel ways of making someone else seem less important than you.” You belittle me all the time, and Jenna feels this way too even though she will never admit it. She pretends to ignore it, but I am going to speak up.

You may think that you are better than the rest of us, but news flash! You’re not superior to others. Do not text me again asking me, “What is wrong with you??” Do not send me anymore obnoxious YouTube music videos about flakiness. In case you don’t know what flaky means, it means, “an unreliable person. Dishonest and doesn’t keep their word.” I always showed up on time to our meetings. Out of curiosity, tell me how often Jenna bailed on you. She’s bailed on me as well, and that is the definition of a flaky person. I am not dishonest and will flat out tell you what’s wrong if we have a problem. However, lately, I have been stepping on eggshells around you, afraid that you will misinterpret what I said. I know what Jenna did to you the night you two went to Menchies (Recall: March 1, 2017). Remember how much it hurt you when Jenna and I went to Menchies and you felt excluded because you weren’t there? Think about how I felt the night you two went to Menchies without me. How is this any different than how you felt? It’s a sucky feeling to be excluded.

On the night you two were devouring your frozen desserts, Jenna randomly texted me while I was in the middle of writing anatomy notes. *PING!* goes my phone. Jenna hardly texts me anymore, so I was a bit puzzled by this random text message and assumed it was important. I open the message, disappointed to see that she sent me a rather obnoxious image of your frozen yogurts and tells me to “rate it.” Tell me, if this was sent to you, and it was obvious that you weren’t included, how would you feel? At first, I wasn’t going to reply to it at all, but thought, what the heck! At least she’s making the effort to make small talk with me right? I decided to send a witty reply, hoping to add some comedy to this otherwise ignorant text message. I shouldn’t have fallen for her trap but it was too late. I replied with a long metaphor comparing an innocent frozen dessert to social media and how everyone competes for attention on the internet, which you didn’t understand because this humor wasn’t meant for you. I was texting Jenna, not you but Jenna decided to make it your business. Jenna replied to me saying that my metaphor was funny but that’s clearly NOT what she told you. So what did she tell you exactly? That I was insulting? Wow.

What she told you was a lie, but this time I am not going to apologize for something I didn’t do. In case you don’t know what a metaphor is, it means, “a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is NOT literally applicable.” You took it literally.

Here is an example of a metaphor: “I had fallen through a trapdoor of depression.” It doesn’t literally mean that you fall through a trapdoor.

Now relate this back to the original text message that I sent Jenna if you saw it. Do you get it now? I wasn’t insulting your dessert. I was in figuratively comparing two unrelated things and finding similarities between them and personifying frozen yogurt as if it was a person on Fakebook, Twitter etc. So no, there is nothing wrong with me, but thanks for the unwanted insult. (Now I am being sarcastic here. If you don’t know what sarcastic means, look it up).

Without the online/texting drama, I am living a much more peaceful life now. I am not telling people my personal business thanks to Jenna teaching me what NOT to do. What she did was unforgivable but I have already written to her. I am sick of Jenna’s sick twisted ways of manipulating your feelings leading you to irrationally lash out at me. Your behavior wasn’t necessary and perhaps our friendship could have been spared if you took the time to actually think before you freaked out at me. She plays you like a fool but you haven’t realized it yet. Honestly, I feel a bit sorry for you because you keep crawling back to her, and the drama/fights/back-stabbing continues. Your behavior and treatment towards me and others are not acceptable. What’s worse is that you don’t often instigate it – often it’s her who told you something to upset you, on PURPOSE. Have you noticed this trend? I’m tired of it. Over the years, it became harder to relate to you on a deeper level and our friendship was often “shallow.” One day we were Facebook besties, usually after a fight between you and Jenna. The next day Jenna was your bestie. A week later you hated her guts. The next week you and I were best friends supposedly. Often it seems like she is your bestie but you’re not actually her bestie. It’s not a 2-way street like she’s manipulated you into thinking it is. I can tell you who her bestie is, but I’m not going to gossip about stuff that isn’t my business. Like I said earlier, it felt like I was stepping on eggshells because you could snap at me at any second. You were quite rude to me, insulting my intelligence and acting superior to everyone else. Superior means, “to act like we are stupid and that you can do no wrong, that you’re ALWAYS right in every situation.”

There was something I liked about you though. You were willing to genuinely apologize after our fight last year. Jenna instigated the fight and manipulated it (of course she did…) but she never apologized for her behavior. Truth is, she never apologizes for ANYTHING. Remember how she would often bail on you and not show up when she was supposed to? Over time, she started bailing on me as well, canceling plans on me or not informing me that she was busy. It was really rude. But the biggest issue I have with her is the fact that she vanishes shortly after she starts drama. You’re open about your feelings when something is bothering you. Jenna on the other hand, wouldn’t say anything and would disappear in the middle of the drama. She wouldn’t answer texts for days, call me back, and would ignore me. The night you sent me that angry text message about the frozen yogurt, Jenna vanished. She explained nothing to me, that you were upset, or anything. No text. *POOF!* and she disappears and pretends to act like she knows nothing the next time she’s questioned about it. Every incident was like this with Jenna but this time was the last straw. I’ve had it with her bullshit and I’ve had it with you leaping before thinking. I am tired of being that “third wheel.” I want the best for everyone and don’t exclude people intentionally. I can clearly see what she did that night (and last year too), and hopefully, now you can understand my side of the story.

You probably thought that I was stealing Jenna from you but I wasn’t. It truly is unfortunate that I’m not friends with either of you now because of the damage caused. I have some good memories with you and I won’t forget these moments. I feel saddened that things ended the way that they did but I have no interest in repairing my friendship with you. It is exhausting and I am tired of putting my energy into a friendship that is draining me and putting me down more than it is lifting me up. The insults, the belittlement, the back-stabbing; it’s simply too much. I hate to say this, but my friendship with you has become unhealthy. It was really nice knowing you and being a part of your life, and I wish you all the best. I hope that you learned something from all of this and that one day you’ll find better friends too. Since it’s clear that we aren’t making each other happy anymore, it’s best that we go our separate ways. It was really nice knowing you all of these years, and sharing memories together. I wish you all the best in your endeavors.    –Hilary♥ 

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Texting Killed the Conversation

There is nothing wrong with texting. In fact, it’s the main way that I communicate with people these days. Being in an isolated location and supervising a newborn 24/7, it’s very difficult to socialize in the real world. Throughout the last 8 years of my life, I became a texting queen. My writing has improved significantly and my WPM speed is stellar.

woman-smartphone-girl-busFor the majority of people, their writing skills may have suffered for the same reason my skills have improved. With the convenience of texting and messenger apps, emojis, acronyms etc. are hurting our writing etiquette. I am beginning to dread the *PING* on my phone; the notification that someone messaged me. Immediately I get a rush of adrenaline and dopamine and before I know it, I already opened the app. Disappointed, I see that a Facebook “friend” (or acquaintance) has sent me a “hi.” That’s it. Hi. Nothing else. No introduction. Just a Hi.  Really now?!

Hi. Hey. Sup. Wazzup. It’s all the same to me. How are you (and God forbid, hru) is pushing it. I used to be inclined to answer to all of these texts and realized over the years that I was just wasting time. One-word responses killed the texting conversation before it even had a chance to grow and flourish into a deep, rich engagement between two people. With a little bit of optimism, I would end up replying with a sentence, hoping that they would get the hint and say something meaningful. I press >>send<< and moments later I hear another *PING.* I open the message with anticipation, only to be more disappointed. They sent me an OK. Just an OK. They couldn’t even be bothered to write the whole word. Maybe next time they’ll send me a LOL or an emoji or some dumb meme that’s been floating around social media.

I decide to call it quits. Before I have the chance to send a sarcastic reply, an eye roll emoji or “……”, I mute the conversation. I put my phone away and get back to work. Minutes later my mind starts racing and I begin to question whether they replied to me. I begin to feel bad ignoring them, so instead, I reply and kindly ask them to stop sending one-word texts. Sometimes the conversation will stop dead in its tracks and I won’t hear from them again. If I’m lucky they take my constructive criticism, but usually I get a response along the lines of “OK” or ‘how are you?”

I have completely lost faith in this person. I delete the conversation, and hit “unfriend.”

 

Unsolicited Baby Advice

There is no easy way to handle unwanted baby advice, especially from a family member whom you simply cannot avoid. Unless I ask for advice on parenting, I do not want your opinions shoved in my face. I cannot tell you how many times someone has given me “the talk” about how to properly parent. Worst case is when they give me a lecture on how I don’t properly parent. Headphones in. Volume up. Ignore the world.

Well, I’m not ignoring my baby of course. It’s all of the unsolicited opinions from people who rub me the wrong way. Sometimes, strangers or former friends/acquaintances would walk up to me and comment on my daughter’s appearance in an ignorant manner as if I didn’t already know. Some days I rather not leave the house than be forced to interact with people. In a future blog post, I will talk about this in more detail.

Recently, I have been avoiding family members on the phone because every time they call, I get some kind of lecture. It has gotten to the point where I have the temptation to hang up on people. Lately, I would check caller display to see who is calling. Then I would debate whether or not I’m going to talk to them, and several times I ended up ignoring the call. Last time when I visited my grandmother, she proceeded to give me unwanted advice, and her negativity made me cry. I was an emotional wreck then and still am now, but that was my breaking point. After that visit, I proceeded to ignore her phone calls and attempted to write her a letter instead.

Thought I would share my letter with you like I did in Weeding Out Toxic Friends. Names I won’t disclose so we’ll just refer to her as grandmother*. I have yet to hear whether she received my letter in the mail. I am curious to know what you think of my actions in the comments section↓. Am I being extreme or were my actions necessary?

Dear Grandmother*,

           I am writing to you because I know that you don’t use email and I am not ready to talk on the phone yet. I’m not sure what my mother has been telling you, but take it from me rather than from her. Lately, I have been in a very confusing and difficult place, thus forcing me to leave social media and “cut” some toxic people out of my life. I had cut the toxic people, so that is one step forward. When people ask me how I am doing, I do not know how to answer that question.

          Yes, on the surface I am a new mom and probably a naive one too. However, I am dealing with things that none of my friends or family is dealing with, so I ask that people keep their “thoughtful” opinions to themselves. As a new mom, I know what I am doing and I am getting some of the best guidance from an experienced guy who knows how to handle babies. He has taught me a lot and has made me confident enough to handle tasks on my own. Although you may be trying to give me advice, I do not want anyone’s advice unless I ask for it. Do not take it personally, but any negativity isn’t welcome nor do I want it. If I have questions, I ask my mother since she seems to enjoy keeping tabs on my life and current whereabouts. The stuff that I tell you and others is just a mere glimpse of my life, so any judgments based on these facts are inaccurate and bluntly speaking, seldom true. I do not need guidance, or advice on how to live my life. I also do not need people telling me what I should be doing or could be doing rather than what I am currently doing. As a resolution, I made a promise to myself to live in the present moment and do what I think is the right choice at this present time. It may not be the most logical choice however, but if it feels right to me then I am going to listen to what my heart wants.

          I am here if you want to talk to me. There is no need to question our friendship. Truth is, you are my favorite grandmother and I feel closer to you than my own mother when it comes to personal issues. Lately, my mother has been trying to get closer to me because of the distance separating us, but we cannot live together long term. [rest of the letter has been omitted for personal reasons]. 

Love, Hilary ♥

Weeding Out Toxic Friends

Toxic friends have no place in our lives. These friends are like weeds that suck the life and happy feelings out of us. As a naive little girl,  my mission was to make friends who would like me for who I am. Being the introverted and far from perfect girl that I was, I didn’t feel like I fit the typical teenager stereotype. Instead, I would find myself blending in with other people who were also unpopular, introverted and wanted nothing to do with high school drama. I invested several years into one very strong friendship in particular. Over the years, our lives became less and less parallel, as I slowly started succeeding in different areas of my life. Sure, I lost a handful of friends over the years but toxic friends have no place in my life either. Regardless of how long you have known someone, if they leave a bad taste in your mouth, then you need to let them go. There was a girl who I trusted her more than anyone, and on the surface it appeared that we had a good friendship. We did a lot of stupid things I admit, and at one point we were shit disturbers (I will not list the awful things we did). However, at the time it was more fun and games because we were just young dumb teenagers at the time. What really bothered me was how she would vanish when she was confronted with an awkward situation and she would seldom apologize. Later, the hangouts and conversations would proceed as if nothing had happened. She also started bailing on meetings over the years and I was even warned about this by ex friend #2. They are bonded together like glue and brainwashed by each other’s lies and stupidity. I am not here to beat around the bush. I had confronted them both after a huge drama dispute and honestly, our friendships should have ended for good the first time. I should have blocked them and moved on with my life. Since they proceeded to drop their shit bomb on me again, I proceeded with a follow-up break-up letter to ex friend #1 who was responsible for most of the damage caused.

There is nothing wrong with writing break up letters, whether it is to a friend or an ex boyfriend/girlfriend. But PLEASE don’t do it over a Facebook post or text message. That is simply not cool. I thought it would be informative to share with you my break up letter to ex friend #1. My break up letter to ex friend #2 is currently in the works but there is really no point reasoning with her. By the way, I mail my letters and ex friend #1 coincidentally has an upcoming birthday around the same time that my letter will reach her doorstep. Was this intentionally planned? Maybe. For future reference, let’s call ex friend #1 Jenna. I won’t disclose her real name on the internet, regardless of how much pain she has caused me. Let’s call ex friend #2 Emma. This letter is the exact letter I sent Jenna* in the mail. If you’re going to go all in, you gotta do it right. ♥♥♥

Dear Jenna*, 

This is the last thing that you will be receiving from me. The only reason why I am sending you this letter is to formally give closure about terminating our friendship. I think it is very clear (it should be clear) as to why I am upset with you. You have succeeded at emotionally and mentally draining me. This friendship became toxic and I am more miserable now compared to when we first met. That being said, I am very hurt and will be hurting for a very long time. Breaking up with a friend is like breaking up with a lover. The pain hurts in the same way. You won’t have to know what I am up to anymore or feel badly about yourself when you feel the need to compare yourself to me. You won’t know my struggles or my achievements. I pray now, I meditate, I draw; I spend time with the people who matter. I hope that one day you will wake up and realize that you fucked up a good friendship. Only you are capable of changing your ways.

Most importantly, I am truly saddened that our friendship ended the way it did but I don’t want to return to the way things were. I have no desire to rekindle a broken friendship anymore. Once I have lost trust in someone, it is incredibly difficult repair the damage. You have succeeded in breaking my trust and I should have seen the signs. However, I was in total denial because I felt really close to you, so much that I entrusted you with my deepest secrets. I refused to let these conflicting signs interfere with my beliefs. We shared good memories together, laughter, tears, joy etc. Last year, our friendship really started deteriorating soon after I started accomplishing some goals of mine. I was entering a new phase in my life and it was scary. It would have been nice having support but you were never around when I needed a shoulder to cry on or a sister to celebrate these victories with. You would *vanish* just like you did when Eve* flung her shit at me through a cowardly text message (examples, March 1, 2017; summer 2016).

I’ll never know what motivated you to reveal my secrets to Eve and probably others too. Regardless of any kind of justification you may have, it is still wrong to reveal my secrets to Eve et. al. Because a true friend doesn’t violate someone’s trust! I do not enjoy being thrown into the lion’s den, forced to defend myself when Eve acts irrationally and starts attacking me because of something you told her. If she is going to retaliate against me and be rude, then I don’t want to be friends with her either. I know you are going to show her this letter because you can’t seem to keep anything to yourself. Go ahead. I DARE YOU. She believes you are her best friend which we both know is a total lie. She believes that you love hanging out with her which is also a lie. But keep brainwashing her because why change something that works for you, despite the pain that it inflicts upon the rest of us? What I believed to be true also turned out to be a lie. Maybe you will miss me when you can’t vent to me about how much she annoys you, or how you always have to drive her places, or the next time you two have a big falling out and I have to break it up. More times than not, you and Eve are bickering about something. High school is over.

I am going to miss the late night hangouts with you. You were such a good listener and someone who I really trusted. I think you really opened up to me about your struggles too, but unlike you I didn’t blab your secrets to my friends. Unless I am cornered and have to defend myself, I don’t get a thrill from badmouthing people for personal gain. The Jenna who showed her true colors is not the Jenna that I used to know. I miss the old Jenna, the one I envisioned to be the aunt of my daughter and the Sephora expert who knows more about makeup than the employees working there. I know I deserve better than this. I am tired of being stomped on like a doormat and I feel sorry for the people around you who you’ll continue hurting. Fortunately, I am one less person who you’ll feel the need to hurt. You don’t have to worry about being MIA in my life anymore, or being a shit enjoyer at my consequence. The pressure is off. Feels liberating doesn’t it? –Hilary ♥ 

“Be who you are and say what you feel,

Because those who mind don’t matter,

And those who matter don’t mind.”

–Dr. Seuss

What’s Up Buttercup?

My mom left me in charge to take care of the dog. No notice just wakes me up from my deep sleep to tell me that there was more leftover money from the Bridal Shower that she threw for me the other day. She makes leftovers seem like it is something to avoided, but I would never turn down money. My hand ached last night from all of the thank-you’s I wrote out by hand and mailed. I have multiple bandages on my blistered fingers to prove it!  I can’t even imagine how many hours of thank-you’s there will be from the wedding this coming may, and the number of handwritten notes there will be until my fingers seize up.

My mother makes a point to remind me that I should be in her debt for the rest of my life – that I should utterly grateful for all of her generosity and sacrifices she made since the day she gave birth to me. Yet, she fails miserably with that horrible attitude that she displays on a daily basis which makes me want to rip my hair out. I have no idea where my mother disappeared to this morning. She hardly tells me anything and probably assumes that I went back to bed. The family room doors are tied to lock out the dog, so she already came to that conclusion that I wouldn’t be down here. Once I am woken from sleep, it is almost impossible to go back to bed. Since coming home, my morning usually starts being obnoxious around 7am or 8am. On a lucky day, I might get to sleep in until 11 am at the latest.pexels-photo-316776

Now if only I had this type of discipline in Saskatchewan, where I am currently living with my husband to be. By the time we go back to Saskatchewan, we will be married. I was never a fan of weddings – all of the attention, the hype and the $$$ for one freaking day. Compared to my cousins though, I think my wedding will be the best. Not to be biased or anything by my mother likes to go over the top to make sure everything is perfect. My fiance and I are not having a honeymoon which is fine by me. We have to fly back the day after our wedding so he can work the following day. Despite the lack of honeymoon, Asia is still on my list of places to visit. We might end up going to Asia next June if things work out in our favour.

Now back to my sad reality. I woke up the other morning with blood marks on my pillow and an ant biting my face, dangling by a hair strand. I killed that bastard as quickly as I could and threw the pillow across the room. The ant infestation is bad – they invaded last year and we finally defeated them with poison. Since the ants only seem to be congregating mostly in my room and the upstairs hallway, my dad refuses to help me get rid of them. He is very lazy and doesn’t seem to care that there are ANTS – possibly the carpenter ones that destroy wood, in OUR house! I read somewhere that Febreeze kills them which doesn’t surprise me since it’s a laboratory concoction of nasty chemicals. It seemed to ward them off for now because I was not attacked by ants biting my face this morning, nor did I see any on the walls. If this potion continues to work I am buying 10 bottles of “fresh linen” killer-ant-spray. I don’t have much else to add today since it just began, so have a wonderful day lovelies!

 

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Wedding Day Decorations

 

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Wedding Layout and Decorations

 

 

 

 

A Little About Myself

I have decided to take up this odd hobby called blogging. Ever since my daughter was born, I have lost all desire in posting on Fakebook, Instagram and I hardly deal with Twitter. It’s scary… starting from scratch and feeling overwhelmed by the burden of branding yourself. What if nobody reads my posts? Am I just wasting my time? I keep telling myself that this is for me to look back on one day, as a way to document my life.

Now am back at square one and want to make my life memorable without the nagging and pestering people door to door, the cold-calling and the other nightmarish marketing tactics that they taught us to do. I am tired of selling people shit they could use but don’t want, and that I don’t need (thanks to auto-ship). Here sits, several bottles later of nutritional powders and pills on my parent’s shelf, unopened and expired. I decided to quit selling products and instead do something good for the world. Right now I am studying courses for school because I came to the conclusion that I want to have a career which requires more education.

So why am I here? Lonely, bored, mid-life-twenties crisis I guess. I try and make an effort to talk to my friends around the world on a daily basis. However, some of them have not been as reciprocative as I would have hoped for. Some of these people have been moved from my “friends I trust’ list to my “fair-weather friends who only call me when they want something or never bother with me or bail on me all the time” list. It’s come down to this: I really need new friends. I have made a few online friends and they have helped me cope with my loneliness and yet there is still a large hole in my heart that is waiting to be filled with fun and excitement. I can only talk to a screen and engage with a virtual reality for so long before becoming disconnected from the real world and swept into Facebook, where I end up comparing myself to others, feeling bad about myself and wasting time trying to build a “brand” for myself to get others to like me. GAH!

I needed to get away from it all so I’ve decided to take up blogging as a personal hobby with the hope that some poor soul will stumble across my stuff one day and make me famous. (kidding!) If this blog reaches 500 people I would be ecstatic. Currently, my old slow-as-f*** Toshiba is broken and my unreliable Macbook that I got a year ago died on me. I am stuck using my dad’s laptop when he is not using it – and squeezing in some writing time on some program that is NOT called Microsoft Word, because my technology-challenged parents never bothered installing this useful software. It is amazing that I am even able to write anything for that matter, without them questioning my every move and dissecting my writing. I am a free writer. I do not commit to anything and hate following guidelines and rules. I love to let my ideas flow freely like a waterfall on a sunny day and get totally disengaged from the real world. I have taken up reading again for a hobby because I find it relaxing and a great escape from life’s burdens. Since coming home to visit my parents and prepare for my wedding, I feel like I am living in the 1900’s with limited technology and lack of entertainment. I have to come up with my own “fun” similar to how a little kid plays make believe.

I guess you could say that I have a good life from the observer’s point of view. But let me tell you, it is not all sunshine and rainbows here. You would think that I would have my life together at 24 and my dream job by now. It still eats away at me knowing that my best bet of ever finding employment is to go back to school even though I have a B.Sc in Biological Sciences. It’s not enough to get you a job at a laboratory in the middle of freaking nowhere.The people I talk to on my second Facebook account (that’s right, I have more than one) know me the best and probably know more about my private life than they should. Most of them don’t have jobs either or are very dissatisfied with their lives. I guess misery loves company because I make a great depressing companion. If you ask them about my personal life, they know me better than I know myself.  I am a bit of an open book that way and will spill my emotions and thoughts if you let me. They know my weaknesses and can usually get the details out of me. However,

Misery loves company because I make a great depressing companion. If you ask them about my personal life, they know me better than I know myself.  I am a bit of an open book that way and will spill my emotions and thoughts if you let me. They know my weaknesses and can usually get the details out of me. However, lately I have been more rigid and not letting my guard down so easily. As for why I have a second account, I’ll save that for another day. I have been through hell and back recently and not even my parents are lecturing me on my actions. For once they are able to relate to me since they’ve been through the same thing.

Overall, I am an average girl trying to compete with the rest of the world for “average” and I think I am doing a pretty damn good job. Considering I didn’t get into the dating scene until my early 20’s (you didn’t see me complain about me being single at 17), I managed to get by quite well. Luckily, I met the right guy at the right time and I thank God every day for this blessing. Personally, I am more of a family-focussed person and value family as something everyone should have. It is something I didn’t really have as a kid and felt left out when other people did fun things with their families and had siblings to play with. As a little girl, I knew that I wanted a large family. Getting there, however, was a huge challenge and I didn’t see myself accomplishing this great leap. I guess this is where I should wrap things up since I am blabbering away about things and nobody really knows who I am yet. Later gators!

 

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My husband and I on our wedding day, May 2016.